Fatal Attractions (TO BE PUBLISHED)(CURRENTLY IN DISTRIBUTION)

Chapter Fourteen: My Truth

"Here's your glass of wine dear, we are ready whenever you are," 

"Let's sit in the living room on the couch. There's a lot that I'm ready to come clean about, and to be honest with you guys it's gonna take a while to tell you what I have to tell you, it's better we're all comfortable, and dad you're probably going to want a stiff drink in your hand. Trust me," 

With that I grabbed my glass of wine from the island, then removed myself from the kitchen, and placed myself on the sectional in the living room. Before too long my parents both walked into the living room, joining me on the sofa with their beverages, attention set on me, all ears ready to hear what I was about to tell them about my eight year relationship. Things that I had to come to terms with, but wasn't ready to tell anyone else, but them. 

"As both of you know I loved Harrison very very much. He was a very big part of my life, and he was my first love, my first everything. In the beginning, during high school he was such a good kid. I mean he was this perfect, innocent kid with goals and dreams, but he had determination that he wasn't going to do anything without me walking by his side. Freshman year of high school to right after college graduation. He always told everyone that he wasn't going to just any college either, he was going to Nashville with me because that's where I wanted to go. He wasn't letting anyone crush my dreams, because at that time he genuinely cared about me and he loved me," I began, my heart beating at the way I could still to this day talk about him. 

"Continue," 

"I always asked myself for many months after we broke up, years even, what changed? Why did he change? Was I ever good enough for him? But then one day it honestly finally occurred to me that no, I was enough. I was too much woman for him, and I was way too good for that boy. Now, to this day I still think something I did made him change, made him want to cheat on me, made him want to beat me, but then I think long and hard about it. I never deserved anything he put me through, and he never deserved a woman as good as me. He tore me down, he took parts of me no man will ever be allowed to take again, and I can damn sure tell you one thing right now, Harrison, nor any man ever could take away the woman I am now. I was a naive kid then, but I bet your ass nobody will ever put me through the things that Harrison did," I paused a moment to take a breath, pulling back the tears. 

"Harrison hurt me there's no denying that. He did unspeakable things to me, but the one thing I will never forget, is when he made me lose our baby," 

"Blue, what do you mean?" 

"Harrison and I got pregnant in college. Sophomore year, when things had started to get really bad between us. I found out I was pregnant, so I was going to tell him. We had been trying for about six months before that, and we got lucky. We were adults, working full time jobs, going to school, and had our lives together, even our own place picked out ready to be occupied by us and our new baby. He came to my apartment, drunk. He was hammered out of his mind, he couldn't tell what way was up, down, left, right, side to side. He smelled like another woman, her perfume just lingering on his clothes, lipstick stains everywhere, hickeys covering his neck. That's when I knew for sure he had cheated, and it probably wasn't the first time. So I confronted him," 

~FLASHBACK~

"Babe, I'm here," I heard my loving boyfriend say to me but his voice was off. 

"Hi, babe," I said to him, but I took a long look at my boyfriend. He stunk of alcohol and another females perfume, lipstick stains covered the collar of his t-shirt, and hickeys not even remotely trying to be hidden, all over his neck. My heart broke over and over in my chest, not only because the love of my life had been cheating on me, but because I was so stupid to believe he would even want to actually be a father,

"What do you say we try to make a baby?" 

Up until today I would have said yes, but this time I just couldn't do it. "No, I'm not in the mood," I replied not wanting to fight with him tonight. 

"Come on babe. You can't get pregnant if we don't do anything," At this point I couldn't hold back anymore. My heart hurting in more ways than one, and the thought of him touching another woman, then trying to come to my home and do the same to me was not very settling in my mind. 

"Who is she, Harrison?" 

"Baby, what are you talking about?" 

"Who's lipstick stains are those, and who left those hickeys on your neck? because I sure as hell didn't, you know how I feel about visible hickey's dammit. So you better tell me, because if you don't tell me the truth, you will sever any future second chance I may possibly give you. So start talking," 

"I didn't do anything with anyone, bitch!" He yelled, causing me to jump. Tears began brimming in my eyes, because Harrison had never raised his voice like this at me. All I wanted was the truth, and it looked like I probably wasn't getting that tonight.

~FLASHBACK OVER~

"Left hook to the face, punch to the stomach, right hook to the face, knee to the stomach. Slap, slap, slap, slap. Grabbed me by my hair, threw me onto the floor, and whispered in my ear; 'You will always be mine, and do as I say. If I want to sleep with another bitch, then come home and fuck you, I will. After all, you're my future wife and mother of my children,' I lost our child that night, but I never got the chance to even tell him. I'm okay with that now. He never needs to know a thing about it, but I do have hospital records confirming the pregnancy, and the miscarriage. If he ever comes to bother me again, I will take it to the police, but as of right now I really don't want to take it that far. It's not worth it," 

"Oh sweetie," My mom said, tears running down her face. 

"As I said before, Harrison hurt me; There is no denying that, Yes I loved him very much back then, there's no regretting that, but he also did what he did to me and there's no changing that. Nothing he ever says or does, will ever let me forget the things he did to me, but at some point I have to forgive him; Not for him, or anyone else either. For me and for my mental health. I will also have to face some type of closure with him, but I will do that when I'm ready. He was my first love, but he ended up being toxic in the end for me; Almost killing me. I'm lucky that I was able to successfully get away from him, and that's my truth to you."