little miss perfect ; hermoine granger

chapter 45 (other ending)

"Let's bring up the mudblood, then."

As I watched the words come out of his mouth, my heart dropped to the bottom of my chest. I didn't want her to see me like this. At least I'd be able to see her, though. I needed to make sure that she was okay.

I still kept my mouth shut, not wanting to give any of them a reaction. I'd make sure that they didn't get the satisfaction of watching me scream or cry again.

I saw Bellatrix practically skip toward the dungeon excitedly, as she took Hermoine out. As she came up the stairs, she looked at me, just me, and I could tell that she was okay. For now, at least. I broke our eye contact, looking back up towards my father. I didn't want her to think that I wasn't okay, that I was scared.

In reality, I wasn't scared. Sure, I didn't want this, I never did, but if it was to save her, then I didn't care. Hermoine was dragged to the back of the room, and thrown into the arms of Fenrir Greyback, as Bellatrix made her way back to the front of the room, behind the dark lord.

Voldemort smirked down at me, and it filled me with disgust. I was doing the very thing I vowed never to do. "Give me your arm, daughter." He demanded, in a cold tone. I hesitated, at first, keeping my arms at my sides.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Bella pull out her wand, resting it against her chin, as if she were threatening me. I turned my vision back to the man in front of me, finally giving in. I reluctantly put my arm out in front of me, and Voldemort smiled. "Thank you." He grinned, as he grabbed my arm.

His hands were ice cold, his nails digging into my skin. He slowly put his hand near his robe pocket, pulling out his wand. He stared at it for a minute, and then at my arm, resting it on my wrist.

"Are you ready?" He asked, and my answer was already clear. It was no. I never wanted this, if I said yes, I'd be joining terrorists. I'd have to do unspeakable things. Am I really going to risk this? Am I going to risk my entire life for her?

I turned my head around to the back of the room, to look at Hermoine. If I did this, she would be okay, but I'd never see her again. I know that for a fact. Unless they'd make me hurt her. She looked back at me, tears streaming down her face, struggling against the large man behind her.

I felt my eyes begin to water, as I remembered this past year, and everything that came from it. The train station, when I saw how truly beautiful she was for the first time, our first kiss on the field, all of the times we fought. The night when we cried in the snow together, holding each other.

Either way, I'd be giving all of that up. If I said yes, she'd go back to Hogwarts, I'd be stuck here, alone, and the only time we'd meet again would be a wizarding war. But if I said no, they'd kill her. They might kill me, too. If I didn't join them, they'd have no use for me. Or they could throw me in the dungeon and let me go insane.

None of the choices I had were good. But I knew I didn't have forever to make my decision. I caught myself hoping for a miracle, that somehow, Harry and the order would come bursting through the doors, killing the death eaters and saving the both of us. But I knew that it would never happen.

As I continued to look at Hermoine, she shook her head at me, her face contorting into a sob. Would she really die for me? I mean, certainly she knew what would happen if I said no. "Hermoine." I whispered, the single word fell out of my lips.

"Ana." She said, her voice breaking. "I love you. I'm so sorry." I sobbed to her, turning back to the dark lord. "I love you too." She said, and paused. I inhaled sharply, looking up at the paintings on the wall.

"I want you to know...that whatever you do, I'm okay. It's okay. We'll be okay." She told me, and I put my hand on my mouth, in an attempt to quiet my sobs. I shut my eyes, squeezing them tight, wishing for nothing more than to be with her again, to hold her hand, to hold her in my arms, to kiss her.