Another TinCan story you might not want to read. This story starts with the scene where Can rejected Tin. Then it'll jump to a few years later with their lives apart. Don't know where this is headed but that's the gist of the plot.
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"Do you like...
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Tin drove away from Can's house but he did not head home just yet. Instead, he drove to the playground where he met Ley when he arrived from Germany. It was still early so there were still only a few people in the playground, most of them were doing their morning exercises.
Sitting at the same bench where he sat at that time he met Ley, he thought he needed to think everything through, still confused as to how come he hadn't remembered anything that happened on that night in the past five years. It was long overdue. Maybe that shirt he found in his drawer was the trigger that caused him to remember everything.
Maybe he forgot about it because of the drugs, and the psychological burden he was trying to evade. He was brokenhearted at that time and all he wanted was to forget about Can, all the pains that Can had brought him. He wanted to start a new life so he did not bother to think about what he did that night.
And that was what he regretted the most, when he decided to ignore those strange feelings he felt when he woke up with bruises and scratches all over his body. How stupid was he to even think that maybe he tripped on his way home that time that was why he got those bruises and scratches? Blinded by his stupidity, he forgot to remember that very same night he ruined Can. Enveloped by the pain of rejection, he didn't realize the horrible thing he did.
He felt really terrible for all the bad things he did to Can. For that abominable night, for never reaching out to Can, for escaping his crime, and for thinking that Can was the one who did him wrong when all this time, it was him who did something horrible to Can. It was all messing inside his head.
Now that he figured out what hideous thing he did to Can, he couldn't stop thinking why Can did not press a charge against him. Can could've sent him to jail long ago, but why didn't Can do that?
Was it because of his family name? Because of his money? Because of shame?
Another reason suddenly popped into his mind but he tried to shrug it off.
There was no way that what he thought was the reason why Can didn't sue him. No way that it was because Can had feelings for him. It would be a delusion to even think about that possibility. It was impossible. Can made it clear to him that he doesn't feel the same way as he does when he rejected him that day he asked him to be his boyfriend.
Especially with that horrible thing he did to Can, it was impossible that Can even looked at him with some kind of good emotions. If he were Can, he would've even killed himself. Can was definitely looking at him with disgust, fear, rage, and everything dark. Can must be seeing him in shades of burning red.
He couldn't stop thinking about what happened to Can in those five years. Was Can that miserable? He couldn't imagine how Can was able to get through everything. He always looked at Can like Can was an easy-going person, he didn't realize that Can would be that brave to be able to live with the trauma that he caused him.
