Another TinCan story you might not want to read. This story starts with the scene where Can rejected Tin. Then it'll jump to a few years later with their lives apart. Don't know where this is headed but that's the gist of the plot.
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"Do you like...
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"One thing I realized for the past weeks is that... I haven't forgiven you yet."
Can turned to face Tin after pulling his hand away from him. A chilly wind blew through them, and he saw how Tin's expression changed from antsy to worried. Tin took a big gulp, he stared at how his Adam's apple moved up and down.
"But no. It's not like what you're thinking," he continued, and Tin almost immediately breathed out a relieved sigh. "It's not because you're not doing enough or your efforts aren't enough. I can clearly see your efforts in trying to make me forgive you. I see how you acknowledge your boundaries and limitations, and how you never force me to something I'm still not ready for yet. I feel your remorse and how you regretted that night. The fault's not on you, it's on me."
Shifting his body towards the bridge once more, he cleared his throat first before continuing, "You know what I've learned about life? It's the fact that you can't pour something out of an empty cup," he paused and cast a look over at Tin, who was still staring at him, engrossed in his explanation, almost barely breathing, confusion evident on his wrinkled face.
Tin was probably terrified when he told him he hadn't forgiven him yet. He didn't want it to come off that way; he just wasn't very good at expressing himself.
"I've realized that somehow I was being unfair to you-"
"No, Can. You've never done anything wrong to me," Tin interrupted him almost sloppily and desperately as if trying to not make him think negatively of himself. "I'm always willing to wait no matter how long it will take you to forgive me. Just don't tell me to be gone in your life. I don't know how I will survive if I ever lose you the second time around," Tin choked.
Was that how it looked to Tin? That this was a break-up sort of conversation? They weren't on the same page at all.
"I never said that I would let you out my life, Tin," he softly chuckled, "That's not what I meant. Not when I already experienced how to be loved by you. Or only if you don't want me to be a part of your life anymore."
Tin gasped, his face a little less tensed. "I don't want you out my life, too."
He fixed his gaze down the water, as if drawing some courage from it to go on with his clarification. "So, as I was saying, you can't pour something out of an empty cup. Clearly, you should've already gained your forgiveness by now because of your perseverance and determination, but at some point, I still can't give it to you."
"We have all the time in the world for that, Can. You don't have to rush yourself," Tin assured him.
"I know, but it doesn't feel right to me."
"Small steps still keep you moving forward, Can. Just because you're taking much more time to completely heal from your wound up past, doesn't mean there's no progress." Tin's voice soothed him so much on the inside that he almost reconsidered his decision, but he was adamant about moving forward.
