Love Charade

Chapter 39: Home

“I said stop the car! Bababa ako!” pagpupumilit ko dahil hindi ito ang tamang daan papunta sa bahay namin. Nang makarating kami sa Silay City, agad siyang kumambiya at lumiko sa daan papuntang Patag, sa resthouse nila.

“Let’s talk, baba.”

“We’re already talking, Archie! Alam mo bang hindi sa akin ang sasakyan na ito? nakakahiya sa may-ari!”

“Sino? Sa fiancé mong hilaw na mukhang espasol?”

Gusto kong matawa sa paraan niya ng pag-describe kay Rio pero pinigilan ko ang sarlii ko. Teka, paano naman niya nakilala si Rio?

“You know him?” hindi ko maiwasang i-tanong.

“I went to your hospital early this morning. I was hoping to see you there but he was the one I saw. We had a mad-to-man talk.”

Man-to-man talk? Ang dami niya talagang nalalaman. Pero kung nagka-usap sila ni Rio, siguradong ito ang nagbigay ng information kay Archie tungkol sa akin.

“And he’s not the only one who can afford a Jaguar Land Rover. Tsss,” mahinang dugtong ni Archie pero umabot pa rin sa pandinig ko.

“What the heck, Archie!”

“What? He may have a chain of hospitals but I own several businesses, in and out the Philippines. And besides, I own your heart plus I know how to cook. Kaya walang-wala ang espasol na ‘yon sa akin.”

“Ewan ko sa ‘yo!” Humalukipkip ako at pinipigilan ang sariling matawa. Nagawa niya pang isingit na marunong siyang magluto!

Nagseselos ba siya kay Rio? Kiniliti naman ng slight ang puso ko.

‘Yawa, Archie! ano itong ginagawa mo sa sistema ko.’

“One night, baba. All I’m asking is just one night. I just want to explain everything. You can then decide, not for me or for anybody else but for yourself. As long as it makes you truly happy.” Sumulyap siya sa akin at malungkot na ngumiti.

I felt like I was facing the Archie twelve years ago. His every word reminded me of all the things he told me about life and decisions before. A single tear escaped my eye but I manage to brush it off.

At the end, I allowed my heart to be the master of my fate and agreed to what Archie wanted.
Choosy pa ba ako? kung kailan ako tumanda ro’n yata ako naging maarte. Tsk!

“I know you’re tired. You can sleep if you want.”

“Ayoko,” tipid kong sagot at tinuon ang atensyon sa mga nadadaanan naming mga puno. Baka magising pa ako sa napakagandang panaginip na ito.

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“T-teka, hindi ito ang daan papunta sa cabin niyo ah!” sumilip ako sa bintana ng kotse at tama nga ang hinala ko. Agad kung tinapunan ng nagdududang tingin si Archie pero ngumiti lamang siya nang nakaloloko.

“So… tama pala ang mga narinig ko kay Kuya Lando. Palagi kang pumupunta sa cabin?” Amusement was palpable in his voice.

“I just wanted to relax in the mountain.”
“Weh? Miss mo lang ako eh!” pangungulit niya at tumawa nang malakas.

Ah, he’s laughter, a music to my ears.
“We’re going higher. Mas maganda ang view pag nasa mas mataas ka.” Mayamaya ay imporma niya. Tumango na lamang ako at hindi na nagsalita pa.
Sayang lang dahil umaambon pa rin. Domoble rin ang ginaw na naramdaman ko sa loob ng sasakyan kahit nakasuot na ako ng maong jacket.

“May cabin din ba kayo ro’n? tanong ko nang mamayani ang nakakailang na katahimikan sa pagitan namin.
“Nope. We’ll car camp. Look behind you.”

Agad namang dumako ang tingin ko sa likuran ng sasakyan at napalaki ang mga mata ko habang unti-unting gumuguhit ang malawak na ngiti sa aking labi.

This man, he really knew how to make efforts. Instead of car seats, I saw a wide white mattress lying on the car floor with four white pillows and white blankets.

“Nice. You have this planned well, huh.” Binalingan ko siya at tinaasan ng kilay.

“You are worth the effort, baba.”

That caught my tongue. I wasn’t able to prepare a response.

When we finally arrived at the highest peak of the mountain, he parked his Land Rover near the cliff, overseeing the flat and wide land of Negros.

It was three in the afternoon when we finally settled in the place. We were sitting on our camping chair, facing each other and enjoying the comfort coming from the sweet lullabies of birds while sipping our hot coffee. A moment of silent covered us like a protective blanket. It was not awkward anymore.

“I brought a guitar. You want me to sing?” Archie broke the silent between us. He really knew that I love his voice.
“Kung saan ka masaya.” I rolled my eyes at him but he just chuckled and stood up.

I low-key observed his every move. I couldn’t help but admire everything about him. His gray sweater and black bonnet complemented his perfect built. He was so handsome, it took my breath away.

When the night came, Archie lit the bonfire we created a while ago. We were now comfortably seated at the back of his car. The mattress felt so soft and the twinkling fairy lights added enchantment to the whole atmosphere around us. He opened his car’s back door so we could really feel the heat coming from the bonfire.

We also had our dinner. I was praising the food and all, I even asked him where did he order the meal but he confidently answered me that he was the one who cooked it which rendered me prisoner of his endless teasing.

“Kai?” naramdaman kong ginagap niya ang kamay kong nakatukod sa gilid ko. Agad na napatingin ako sa magkahugpong naming kamay pero hindi man lang niya binawi  kamay niya. Tinapunan ko siya ng isang nagtatanong na tingin.

“Hmmm?”

“I’m so sorry for leaving you behind,” pag-amin niya. Puno ng sinseridad ang kanyang boses. Umiwas ako ng tiningin at tumikhim.

So, wala na akong takas sa confrontation na ito. Might as well face it now.

“Bakit ba kailangan niyong palabasin na namatay ka? Kaya ko naman tanggapin na aalis ka… pero sana iniwanan mo lang ako kahit isang simpleng paliwanag lang.” Nahimigan ko ang hinanakit sa aking boses. Kahit ako nagulat dahil sa tono ng aking pananalita.

“The surgery wasn’t successful. I suffered another coma. But my parents were not yet ready to give me up so they decided to bring me to Spain. Hoping that they could find treatments there. It’s sad but they can’t rely on the medical competencies of all doctors in the Philippines.”

A lump formed in my throat when I heard his reasons. So, he still suffered.
“Pero bakit kailangan niyong ipalabas na wala ka na?” A tear unexpectedly fell and my voice became hoarse. I heaved a deep sigh and bit my lower lip to suppress a sob.

“I became mad withmy parents when I found out too. Pero hindi ko pinagsisihan iyon at pinasalamatan ko pa nga,” he laughed and looked up, maybe forcing his self to fight the tears.
I looked at him harshly. How dare him! I suffered so much because of that fucking fake loss.

“Ang sama mo… ang sama-sama mo.” Tuluyan nang bumuhos ang luha ko. Gusto ko siyang paghahampasin pero iba ang sinisigaw ng puso ko.

“Hey, it’s not what you think. You were so full of dreams back then. I don’t want to cut your wings. I don’t want to be the reason for your downfall, baba. And I have my parents to thank for that dahil kung hindi nila ginawa ‘yon, I'm sure marami kang sinakripisyo sa buhay mo.”

“How dare you decide for me, of all people? Akala ko…” napatakip ako ng dalawang kamay sa aking mukha at humagulhol.

“I woke up after a year… but I had an amnesia. I could not remember anyone but your face haunted me to sleep. Pero wala akong maalala tungkol sa ‘yo. Tanging mukha mo lang.” Agad na lumipad ang tingin ko sa mukha niya. Nakalarawan doon ang hirap at pagsusumamo.

“I almost killed myself multiple times, Archie…” I admitted. I was young back then and so in love, so broken.

“Oh God! I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t know, baba.” He grabbed my arms and imprisoned me in his warm comforting embrace. I answered his embrace with full ardor, wanting to make him feel my love.

“Sorry kung kailangan pang umabot ng twelve years para bumalik ako sa ‘yo. Maraming test, maraming treatment therapy. Kailangan maibalik ang katawan ko sa normal. I don’t want to be a burden to you kaya tiniis ko.”

I rested my head on his chest and just nodded, unable to speak, overwhelmed of everything that I found out. Alam ko ang hirap na pinagdaanan niya para maka-recover dahil doctor ako.
“Don’t be sorry… you just wanted to survive. I understand now.”

“And you are so successful now. I am beyond proud, baba.” Napapkit ako nang mariin dahil sa huling sinabi niya.
Biglang naging tama lahat ng desisyon ko. Mula sa pagpunta ko ng USA, pag-aral ng neurosurgery at pagtanggi ng offer sa Korea.

We stayed in our position for several minutes. Well, maybe an hour? I lost count. None of us wanted to let go.
“I’ve been living with regrets knowing that I haven’t made you feel how much I love you back then,” I said in a muffled voice, tightening my hug.

“Pinaramdam mo naman sa akin sa loob ng twelve years.” He chuckled and caressed my back.

“What do you mean?” I looked at him straight in his eyes curious.
“I’ve read your messages on my Instagram. Alam kong napapagod ka sa klase mo, alam kong natatakot kang ma-fail sa mga surgery mo, alam kong mahal na mahal mo ako. I was comforted by your daily messages too.” He smiled at me and drew me closer to him. I felt a soft peak on my forehead.

“B-bakit hindi ko alam ‘yon?” ginawa ko nga namang diary ang message section ng Instagram niya.

“I had my ways.” He looked straight to my eyes and winked at me.

“Thank you for not giving up on me, baba. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko kung sa pagbalik ko, pagmamay-ari ka na ng iba.”

“No one owns me, not even you. You taught me that.” I rested my head on his shoulder and I felt like home.

“Of course.” He laughed and put his arms on my shoulders.

“But I am choosing you. Kahit hindi mo pa sinasabing mahal mo ako.” I scowled at him. He grinned.

Yawa!

“Hah! Ulitin mo nga, ire-record ko! Ipaparinig ko lang sa espasol na iyon.”
Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. Pero natigilan din pansamantala dahil sa tawang pinakawalan ko.

Ito ang tawang sinabi ni Rio sa akin. Ang tawang tanging ang lalaking mahal ko lang ang nakakapgbigay.

“Is there something wrong?” mayamaya’y untag ni Archie nang mapagtantong natahimik ko.

“Wala. Rio’s my best friend, kaya h’wag ka nang magselos diyan. Ikaw ang mahal ko.”

Wala nang rason pa para itanggi ang nararamdaman ko. Tama si Ate Kora, I suffered long enough. Gusto ko namang maging masaya, this time, sigurado na.

Tumango-tango siya habang nakangiti sa kawalan bago binalik ang tingin sa akin. Nakakunot-noo na siya ngayon.

“Hindi ako nagseselos d’on!” nanlaki ang mga mata niyang sambit.

“Archie… did you reach your dreams? Are you successful?” hindi ko maiwasang itanong. Unti-unti siyang umiling kaya napaisip ako at ako na naman ang napakunot-noo.

“I can only be successful if you become my wife. That’s the real success. I love you, baba.”

My heart let out a thunderous beat but it felt so heartening.

“Mahal na mahal kita, Archie.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Be more romantic nga, Archie.”

If there’s one thing I was certain about love at this moment with Archie, it was that love didn’t think their loved ones were wrong because love worked together and take responsibility. Most of all, love forgives and allows two people’s action to be their journey in order to finally come home.

It may take twelve years for Archie and I but the journey was all worth it.