Love Charade

Chapter 28: Truth and Reconciliation

I ran fast and I cried hard. I couldn't count the number of times that I almost tripped because of my fucking tears. It blurred my sight but I still managed to ran fast.

I couldn't accept the fact that everything that we had was all just a charade. The Archie that I fell in love with was actually a fake cunning bastard! Damn him for breaking my heart to pieces and damn me for allowing him to do it. I was so dumb to believe the romance in all his actions. Oh well, romance was created to fool people after all. There was no exception to the rule.

Ang sarap sumigaw at magmumura pero alam kong gagawin ko lang katawa-tawa ang sarili ko. Kaya tinahak ko ang lugar kung saan walang makakakita sa kamiserablehan ko ngayon.

Agad kong binuksan ang pinto at nilanghap ang malamig na simoy ng hangin. Tila nakikisabay ito sa agos ng aking emosyon.

I did not hold back. I poured out everything. I cried aloud and let the cold wind blew my tears away. I just hope that it would also blew away my pain but I knew for a fact that I cannot have everything at once.

Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman ko roon samantalang itunukod ko naman ang kaliwang kamay sa aking tuhod. Bagong-bago sa pakiramdam ang sakit na nandoon kaya hindi ko alam kung paano i-approach ito.

"Kaia?" Napadiretso ako ng tayo nang marinig ang malamig na boses babae. Hinanap ko ang pinanggalingan niyon at hindi ko inaasahan ang nakita ko.

Sa lahat ba naman ng makasaksi ng hinagpis ko, si Kirsty pa talaga.

"P-pasensya ka na kung naabala kita. Sige, aalis na ako," simisinghot na sambit ko at tumalikod.

"No, wait. Okay lang, Kaia. You can stay." Nagulat ako sa biglaang pagpigil ni Kirsty sa akin kaya kunot-noong binalingan ko siya.

Kirsty smiled at me. A genuine and familiar smile she used to give me when we were still okay. She motioned me to come near her and offered a seat next to her.

I hesitated for a moment but her presence comforted me... somehow. So, I went and sat near her.

"Bakit ka umiiyak?" mayamaya'y tanong ni Kirsty. Napatingin ako sa kanya at agad naman siyang umiwas ng tingin. "Huwag mong sagutin kong hindi ka komportable," dugtong niya habang nakatingin pa rin sa malayo.

Humagulgol ako ng iyak habang kaharap siya. Hanggang sa namamalayan ko na lang na nagkukwento na ako sa mga nangyari sa amin ni Archie.

"At naniwala ka agad sa mga sinabi niya?" Kirsty asked in pure disbelief and laughed a little. My forehead knotted with her questions. What was she trying to say?

"Kaia, kung totoo man ang sinabi niya, sana kahit isa man lang sa mga paninira o panlalandi ko sa kanya, pinatulan niya. Pero isang salita pa lang ang nabibitawan ko, pinapatahimik na niya agad ako ng mga katagang, 'Si Kaia lang ang mamahalin ko'," hindi makapaniwalang kwento ni Kirsty at tumingin sa akin. I could sense the genuineness in her voice but I was not sure if I would believe it.

"I don't know..." I looked up and stared at the blank sky. There were no clouds there. It seemed... lifeless.

"Then maybe ikaw ang problema, Kaia," marahas akong napalingon kay Kirsty. Napaisip agad sa mga binitawan niyang salita. "Baka sumuko ka agad? Nasaan na ang palabang Kaia na kilala ko?" Tumawa ulit si Kirsty at umiling.

Pinili kong tumahimik at isipin nang mabuti ang mga pinagsasabi niya.

"That night at Isla Jalandoni... after that incident, I realized one thing, you can never demand someone to love you or even like you back, no matter how hard you tried. That night, I witnessed how Archie cried for you. He cursed me every passing second that you are unconscious, Kaia." Ginagap ni Kirsty ang dalawa kong kamay at tumingin nang diretso sa akin.