Through You

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT - Happiness

~Martin

I watch as the wind blew Kylie's hair across her face, I have never seen her giggle again as she tries to refrain the wind from blowing her hair away, She catches strands of her hair after another, attempting to make her hair still. She giggled again and stops holding her hair and just let her hair flew behind her back.

'Thank you for taking me here, Martin." She says, smiling at me. I knew she needed to get away from the place that broke her, I knew she needed a break from all this chaos. I reply with a smile, but it was easily gone since I remembered what I am taking away from her now that she is here with me.

"Walang anuman, I knew Batanes needed you." I say, but I know she needed this. And I can't just tell her that.

She giggled again, she was playing the water beneath us as the boat we are taking is moving, I watch as she carefully admire the scenery. I wish I could just take away all of her pain, but I know this is just a temporary fix. I know I am not what she needed for to heal, I know I am just a fucking band aid, A little escape from a hell journey, but I was not her destination.

"We're here!" She exclaims as the boat stops at the shore, I watch as she hurriedly step out of the boat, not even taking the hand of the tour guide who offered to guide her in sand. She screamed,  turning around while stepping on the sand, her hair scattered everywhere and her hand holding her shoes on one.

"You really grew up here Martin? Why did you leave this place then? It's therapeutic!" She says, now chasing the splashes of waves that comes to the shore, running to it, then running from it before it hits her feet. I went down the boat and catch her.

"This is my home Kylie, I never left it, I always go back." I say, hoping she could catch a drift of what I meant. I am offering her this break so she could realize how badly she needed Ruru. Alam ko ang naiintindihan ngayon ni Ruru ay tinakas ko yung babaeng mahal nya. Pero hindi nya alam, Why would I break someone I love as well?

When Kylie stopped running to me whenever things get hard, When Kylie stop showing at my unit every time she felt the need to cry, Alam ko talo na ako. Alam ko si Ruru na talaga, at wala akong magagawa doon. Nag paubaya ako. When I stop forcing Kylie out of the shower, I know, Hindi na ako ang gusto nyang hanapin.

"Sana ako din dito ang home, Thank you Martin, I appreciate it." She says, running towards me and hugging me tightly.

I am refusing to hug back, I am refraining myself to hug her back, but her hug is too long, I am caving in. I slowly put my left hand on her back. Ngayon lang, ngayon lang. I whisper to myself, then starts hugging her too.

"Tara na." Kylie says, dragging my arm with her, as if she knew where she is going, this is the first time she is coming to my home.

I needed to show her this, for her to truly now what she really wants.

———-

~Ruru

I am jugging another bottle of vodka, I have forgotten how many bottles I had drank, I fetch my phone, tried to dial Kylie's phone number for another one, but still the phone is out of reach and unattended. I try to check how many times I had dialed Kylie's phone. The number flashes 104. I tried to call her again, still same results.

I threw my phone and cried, all of my messages are left on delivered. How could she could easily leave me. I lost my child too, but what hurts me the most, is I lost her too.

I ran out of things to threw so I grab and empty bottle to throw. I watch as the bottle got shattered. I watch as I completely get destroy over petty things that I thought could fix me. I hold my temple, try to fetch another bottle of vodka that is full, rummage through the empty bottles around me, and when I can't find one that is full, I throw another one.