Through You

Chapter 40 - You All Over Me

~Kylie

"You promised, I can go out after 3 days, Why do I still have an IV attached to my hand?" I ask my doctor as he twerks the gear attached on my IV, Increasing my dosage, or decreasing my dosage, I actually had no Idea.

"The more you persist, The more I will extend you stay, so again, Be nice." He says, playfully messes my hair and leaves me. I blow my hair that is covering my face. I told myself I will immediately run to Ruru, How can I run when an IV stand is there every time I look behind?

Sinalampak ko ang sarili sa aking kama, Ngayon pa talaga ako naiwan mag isa, May bago daw na project si Martin so he accepted, Si Kathy naman may bebe time so.... I can help but wish, Sana all may bebe time. But then again, Kasalanan ko naman talaga so wala akong choice kundi... Mag burot.

Humarap ako sa dingding, nilagay ang aking kamay sa aking noo, Tama ba talaga tong ginagawa ko? Diba dapat maski tawagan itry ko man lang? What if ayaw na nya sakin? Anong gagawin ko? I try to erase that thought in my mind. That's the last thing I need, Like Ibarra always says, I needed to fully recover my health if I plan on chasing Ruru. I didn't quite catch his drift though, Kasi Why would I chase Ruru? I will run back to him, Yes, But that doesn't mean I will chase him.

"You need the strength, Kylie, You needed the energy, and besides, I can't let a patient roam around the streets, especially if that patient requires immediate medical attention." His words still echoes in my mind, I put my one hand that isn't attached to an ivy inside my hospital gown, I felt relieved when I no longer can feel my ribs popping out, I should have seek medical attention the moment I started drowning myself with alcohol, but who would have known? If I didn't who would have known?

I actually thought I was okay, that that is normal, me being drunk, me pushing Ruru away, me almost losing my health because I lost a child, and no person could even knew how painful it was to lose your child that way, I've been comfortable with Martial Arts all my life, so when I lost my baby with something I've been doing ever since I was a kid, of course, something in me died.

I shrug off the thought in me, Ibarra says it's normal, that I acknowledge my pain, that when memories comes in waves, it's important to acknowledge it, but right now, I no longer want to cry, I have had enough. I mean, it is healthy now for me to cry, but the memory still stings.

I tried looking for the remote, all local channels had been block on my television room, and according to Kathy, Encantadia is still on going, they somehow managed to change the story line and Amihan being able to transfer to another body. And I am dying to know who they replaced me with, but I had no idea, since my medical treatment started, they had refuse to give me anything asides my medical needs. I don't even know where my phone is!

But Ibarra promised, after 2 days, I will be allowed to see Ruru... and that gives me a gleam of hope. Because finally, I could make up for all the times I had wronged him, assuming, he will allow me. I looked for every corner of my bed, still, no remote, why would they shield me from watching Local TV when I used to star in Local shows? I am starting to get mad. pero in a good way, I knew that they only wanted what is best for me.

Kathy was kind enough to bring me my books from home, and I was so happy because I became less bored, but according to her, this isn't her initiative, but Ibarra's my psychiatrist insisted that I read to calm my mind and to be less bored, a fact that I knew I shouldn't know, but Kathy's mouth is too loud and she tends to overshare information with me but it is okay.

I grabbed the blue one with a female shadow in front of the cover, "Veronika decides to die." I still had no idea why among my books at home, she decided to bring this, pero I really think she just grabbed random books and since Amihan is blue, she just grabbed all the shades and hues of blue, all the books she had brought are blue, and I am wondering if she didn't check their titles, but then again, this is a book of reclamation. In which, I plan to do.