You Make it Possible-Under Re-Write

45

"Come on let's pick up the pace!" Alyssa calls.

"I feel like I'm back in high school" I huff out as I pick up my pace slightly.

Kai laughs at my remark. "Yeah Alyssa's sweet till she starts training. Then she turns to a drill Sargent" he adds with a chuckle.

"I heard that Micheals!" Alyssa yells.

"Case and point" Kai mutters under his breath.

I laugh when I look over a Alyssa who has a stone cold face but it's clear in her eyes she wanted to laugh too.

After we arrived yesterday we spent most of the night meeting people and watching a few people practice combat, but Alyssa said today would be the day we actually started training.

Kai and I would be here for the next two days practicing the basics of combat, then once we get back home the rest of the training with Kai, Alyssa, and my mom would start.

I was still shocked my mom agreed to it, but I'm sure it had less to do with her wanting to and more to do with my grandma exploding on her at the last meeting.

"Come on slackers you're the last two!" Elaine says as she joins in next to Kai, then speeds up past us.

"Bitch" I mumble under my breath.

"Lilith." Kai says with a warning tone. "You have nothing to worry about with her." He adds.

"This is more than just about my insecurities" I state. "I'm tired of being underestimated." I mutter and pick up my pace even more.

Surprisingly I was able to pick it up fast enough to not be in the back, and Kai follows close beside me. I know he could probably smoke everyone here but I appreciated him running with me anyway.

"That's it Lilith!" Alyssa calls once I make it towards the middle of the crowd of runners.

I can't help but smile as Alyssa claps for me when I finish the last lap nearing the front of the crowd.

~
I had a horrible ache in my stomach. I knew it was the nerves.

I was currently waiting to do my first match with someone other than Kai or Tyler. I felt good with my knowledge of boxing that they both had taught me, but I was nervous about the fact I didn't really know the person I was fighting and the fact that I'm the weakest one here. I didn't have a wolf like everyone else here, I didn't have the strength, or the agility.

I glanced over across the field at Kai who was also waiting his turn for a match.

Since he was more experienced with fighting, he was working with other people, like Elaine. Which boiled my blood on a whole new level.

"You doing alright?"

I snap out of my heated gaze towards Elaine at the sound of Alyssa's voice.

"Did she have to be here?" I ask. I couldn't even mask my irritation.

Alyssa sighs and nods her head. Kai asked me the same thing yesterday." She says chuckling.

"And what did you say?" I ask.

"She's one of our best." She says simply as she shrugs her shoulders.

"So I've heard" I say looking back over at Elaine who is of course practicing with Kai.

"Come on. You're up" she says bumping her shoulder against mine.

I take a deep breath and follow Alyssa to the middle of our small circle.

Everyone I'm training with is a year one recruit, meaning they were all freshly 18 and I was the oldest here.

"Lilith this is Hannah, you two will be working together for the next few days." Alyssa says.

Hannah is a few inches taller than me, and definitely a lot more fit. She looked like she should be with the 4th years.

"Hi!" She says with a cheery grin.

"Hey" I say mustering up my nicest smile. It was hard knowing I was about to get my ass kicked in front of all these people.

~

My back hits hard against the mat. Once again, Hannah pinned me in an impossible way where I had to tap out.

We've gone through this at least 6 times and I've been pinned each time. It looked like Hannah was starting to get bored with winning.

"One more time around and we'll take a break" Alyssa says.

I sigh as I jump to my feet and prepare to go again.

I hold my hands up like I usually would when I'd box and took a deep breath.

Just one win, I need one win.

Alyssa blows the whistle and Hannah immediately lunges for me but I block her shot and trip her so she falls. She quickly jumps up like it was nothing and manages to put me in a choke hold that felt nearly impossible to get out of, but this time I didn't let up.

We were knelt on the ground and I used my legs to push us up so she'd fall on her back. I flip myself over her and get out over hold, and when I look up I see once again Elaine is going against Kai. She pins him by straddling his waist and holding his arms down.

In the quick moment I was distracted by their fight Hannah was able to knock me back down and pin me.

"You need to focus Lilith!" Alyssa calls when I tap out.

Hannah stands to her feet and offers me her hand.

I take it and stand to my feet, and turn back around. Now Kai has her pinned the same way she had him.

I'm trying not to let this bother me but I know I'm failing when Kai looks over to our side of the field and catches my eye. I can feel his guilt inside me.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Alyssa says suddenly appearing beside me.

I look away from Kai and nod my head.

Alyssa leads me closer behind the cabin, probably doing her best to keep our conversation private, but I can feel Kai's gaze on the back of my head as we walk away.

When we're far away enough, she finally speaks.

"I know you're having a hard time with this, and I just need you to understand that most of these kids have been training in combat since they were at least 15. You're just new to this" she states.

"That doesn't make it any better. I'm the weakest one here. Even if I finally mated with Kai and had all my weird wolfy abilities I'd still be weak." I say back with way more pettiness than I intended.

Alyssa chuckles, "wolfy abilities?"

I can't help but smile back and laugh. "Yeah, wolfy abilities."

Alyssa laughs again and shakes her head. "You don't need wolfy abilities to be strong. You just need to focus and believe in yourself. I know you have it in you." She says stopping our walk and facing me.

"I know you have to work harder than anyone here, but I promise it is possible for you to beat anyone in your class. If it wasn't I wouldn't let you train with them."

"It doesn't feel possible" I mutter

"It's all in your head" she says pointing at me. "You're blocking yourself from your true potential because you have no confidence in yourself."

I sigh and shake my head. My confidence seems to be screwing with every aspect of my life recently.

"I've been told" I sigh.

"You just need to let it all go. Every time a negative thought comes to mind push it away. Tell yourself you can even when it feels like you can't."

I give Alyssa a nod and a smile. She was right, I needed to stop wallowing in my own self pity and at least try to change the negative side of me.

"Come on, we'll eat and relax for a bit and we'll get back into it. I'm going to give you a different opponent though." She says with a small smirk on her lips.

"Who?"

"Elaine."