Skin Deep

(20) Tell Me Why

As soon as we come to a stop, I get out of the Jeep, not waiting for Noah to put the vehicle in park.

"What the hell, Kai?" He yelled after me as soon as he parked the car.

I don't answer. I just keep walking. "Why are we even here in the first place?" Noah catches up to me and grabs my arm. "Kai!"

I shrug him off and stop walking to face him. "What?" I snap.

Noah must see something in my expression because his eyes soften. He puts his hands on my shoulders and I envision all the ways I could cut those fucking hands so that they would be forced to fall off my shoulders. Falling to the ground, spurting blood on my dreaded high heels that I hate wearing.

Oh wait! There isn't a reason to wear them now that I got fired from Strip Tease, so I shrug out of Noah's grip on me and leaning on Noah for support, I take those disgusting high heels off my feet, but not before snapping the heels off the shoes so they can never terrorize another human being with their wicked ways again.

"What are you doing?" Noah exclaims as I slam the shoes into his chest and he takes them so they don't fall to the ground, along with the broken heels.

"What does it matter to you?" I feel my voice rising from the weight of my anger.

"Kai--"

Before Noah can fill me with anymore of his bull, I interrupt him. I don't have time for his shit. I have to deal with things he couldn't even begin to understand and you know what? Something I used to always have to deal with; something I always had to wonder and worry about was fucking Noah and his bullshit! And now he wants to just string me the fuck along like I'm some kind of a trophy? Like I'm one of his showgirls. Well, I got news for him. "I hate you, Noah Taylor." I tell him, looking the fucker straight in his eyes while I say the words to him with as much feeling as I can possibly muster.

If Noah's taken aback by my words, he doesn't show it. He's as still as a statue. Figures.

"You know how many nights I'd cry myself to sleep in my fucking pillow, but I had to keep my weeps a secret because I couldn't have my little girl, the little girl I have no clue where in the world is, Royalty, hearing me. So, I'd worry if my little girl would hear me weeping on the other side of that goddamn wall!" I get right up close and personal with Noah. He doesn't back away, but his expression remains smooth and unyielding. He shows zero emotion. "I had to choke back my tears because I had to be strong for my little girl. I couldn't let her see how weak her mother really was. How weak some motherfucker that has no clue of who I am made me.

"Every night I would hope and pray that you wouldn't show your face just this once. That maybe, by some miracle, you wouldn't stand by the school entrance and trip me up, so I fell on my ass in front of everybody. They would call me a klutz. Tell me to watch where I was going. They would laugh at me!" I yell.

"I'd have to keep my fucking bladder in check. Remember to go every morning and every afternoon when I was picking up Royal from daycare and getting her to preschool so that I wouldn't have to go to the stall. Because every time I went into a bathroom stall girls would harass me. Ask me where you were." I say. He says nothing; the only hint of emotion I see on his face is a tear sliding down his cheeks, followed by more tears.

But, I don't feel sorry for Noah. If anything, it makes me happy to see he still has emotions. That he can still be broken like the rest of us. It fuels my fire because this time, he's the weak one.

This time, Noah's the victim and I'm the bully and I am not one bit sorry for it.

"You made my life a living hell and now, suddenly you want to follow me around? Hold my fucking hand while you simultaneously figure out the next thing you can do to make my life miserable?" I take a few steps back as I shake my head. "Well, guess what? No dice. You don't get to be nice to me and then ten seconds later do something that makes me remember what a horrible person you are."