MY BIG FAT ROMANCE

MBFR : 19

EPISODE 19 : THE AFTERMATH

"Teka tigil muna. Jusko Bel." Hingal na sambit ko sa kaniya kung makatakbo naman kasi 'tong babae na 'to akala mo hinahabol kami ng sampong demonyo!

Dinama ko ang aking dibdib dahil tila malalagutan ako ng hininga,. "Nasaan na lakas ng loob mo? Wala ka naman pala eh." Kutiya ko sa kaniya dahil mas sobra pa ang inaasta nito kaysa sa akin noon.

Sumimangot siya at tumigil sa paglalakad, "Okay na nga sana iyon kung hindi lang siya ang sinuntok ko noong elementary!" Tugon nito sa akin bago sumimangot.

"Magkakilala kayo noong elementary?"

Mas lalo pa itong sumimangot, "Mahina ba signal sa inyo, Lauryn? Oo nga! Siya 'yong sinuntok ko noong elementary. Hindi ko makakalimutan iyon dahil nagka-black eye siya sa lakas ng suntok ko sa kaniya!"

Napangisi ako sa kaniyang sinambit, "Enemy turns to lover na ba?" Tukso ko rito tsaka pasimpleng binangga ang balikat niya.

Namula naman ito sa sinabi ko kaya mas ginanahan akong tuksuhin siya, "Uyy namumula," patuloy ko.

Inirapan ako nito bago takpan ang magkabilang tainga at iniwan akong mag-isa habang tumatawa.

Matapos ang aming klase hanggang lunch time ay walang humpay ang aking panunukso kay Belinda na sobrang ikinayamot nito. Gayunpaman, hindi niya pa rin magawang magalit sa akin.

I didn't foresee this day to be leisurely for me because no matter how I'm keen to dodge him. Fate is recreating its own game. We keep bumping into each other every day and it was the moment I realized that moving on isn't this short. He never talks to me after what I've said to him.

And for what? I'm not beneficial to him. I'm nothing, he already won the game of breaking my heart. If only he could partake in the way I endure the days. It's still giving me a pang whenever I see him. There's a part of me that wants to talk to him but I won't let my heart control my mind again. The moment I choose to listen to my heart, I just get myself ruined.

My day goes like an ordinary day in my life, with nothing to feel enthusiastic about and nothing to look forward to. It's just me and my pathetic self, again. It's me and my imperfections against the world.

Days beg to differ from the days of my past. Somehow, I lost Clyde who's never been mine, anyways. Despite that, I came to recognize the value of quality over quantity.

People come and go in our lives, they might bring me misery and despair. However, I must apprehend that change is constant. There's a propensity that the syndicate will double cross me. But I don't don't clasp unto grudge as much as the realization. Pain might demolish us but it will bring us the discovery of ourselves. Specifically, brighter than the days of the past.

Trees relinquish their leaves when autumn moves toward but don't forget that it's just equipping themselves to swamp a harsh and senseless winter.

Be like a tree, that no matter how extensive the bombardment coming on its way, it's just never yielding its stand. Even if with no leaves, limbs, and buds, at least be placed on your own feet. Figure out your frailty and convert them into resilience.

With myself, being with diverse kinds of people. Partaking and heeding harsh words, judgments, and treacheries. My scars build me into who and what I am today.

As I look at my reflection in the crystal-clear water. I don't see myself as a sunflower that does not bloom without the sun anymore. What I overlooked to see is a tree, in its messiest form, a tree that doesn't have water or fertilized soil. It's just there, standing. Like a tree, I'm still on my swarthy days and pudgy clouds, but also I'm a tree that never loses its expectancy to see the sunshiny side of life.