A Highschool Cliche.

Chapter 21.

" Do i love you? How do i feel? This feeling, i want to keep it, makes me happy and sad at the same time. I hope it's not a illusion, i want to trust you, will you promise me? To never hurt me like i have been hurt before, to never make me cry? Will you answer me? Can i be worthy of your love too? Am I enough? Will you love me the same way i love?"

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"Okay so i think i might have some kind of feelings for Jason, and it started a while back and he has been soo nice to me i didn't realize when exactly and somehow things escalated and we ended up this way" i sighed explaining Samuel the whole situation while he just looked at me, listening attentively.

"You know Jason, don't you? His history with his past girlfriends and still you kissed him! You let him!" Samuel raised his voice a little which clearly showed his disappointment in me.

I know i would never do this! I can never imagine myself with a guy like Jason!

"I know! Sam! I know that! But what am i supposed to do with all of this feelings! I know he isn't the best person for someone like me with a fragile heart and deep feelings! But now i have those deep feelings for him! And i need you to tell me that it's real and it's okay for me to like him!" My voice cracked a little from all the overwhelming feelings.

Samuel noticed he knows me the most after my mother and brother, he knows how much I can care and feel.

He carefully took my hand and squeezed reassuring me while giving me a small smile.

"I am sorry. Jason, he is a great friend i can assure you of that but for him to be good to you as his girlfriend and to not hurt you, i don't know. More like i don't want to know, I don't want to see you heartbroken again" he stared at me with sad eyes all the while rubbing his thumb over my hand to keep reassuring me that he is here.

"I know. I am afraid of finding out too." I am afraid of knowing what it could be, i just don't know if i am ready for something like that.

"I think you should talk to him about this, let him know what you expect and his answer should let you know if you want to go forward with him or not" Samuel smiled at me finally letting my hand go and leaning back to his chair taking the coffee cup.

I nodded giving him a small smile and continued with my coffee too. The thoughts still surrounded me but i think it's time to decide Irene.

After a few days

Me and Jason didn't bring up the matter again and it has been quite a few days. I was glad he was giving me space but i knew i had to decide I can't keep running.

"Hey Jason, can we talk?" I saw him outside school and immediately decided to approach him.

"Sure!" He smiled back sweetly.

"I was thinking we should meet up and complete the project for good since our finals are coming" i spoke wording my speech carefully.

"Yeah! I totally forgot about it. No worries we can finish it today, my place?" He asked and i nodded finally bidding him goodbye and waiting for the right time to tell him.

It's alright Irene! It's going to be fine! You got this!

At Jason's House

We were finally doing our project and i was really hoping it can all be done today.

"Do you want something to drink?" He asked me before heading downstairs after i shook my head as a no.

After few minutes he came back with some orange juice and sandwiches.