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He's coming for you; you can feel it. He is close by, so if you're going to do something, then you have to do it now. Lucifer has always been top priority–to kill him or trap him back in the box. You gave your life over to the cause, stopping at nothing to imprison the archangel for all the pain he's caused.
One thing you learned from hunting with the Winchesters is that nothing ever goes to plan. Somehow, along the way, Lucifer got smart enough to get away. He's killed everyone who disobeyed him, and you're the only one left. He is definitely going to make your death last for centuries, so the only way to escape him is to take your own life before he can.
He got to Sam Winchester first, he killed Dean, he made sure Castiel is out of the picture, which means you're the only one left. Lucifer has his true vessel, so there is nothing he won't be able to do.
You pick up the gun that Crowley made specially for angels because it has angel-killing bullets in it. The bullets were made from melted down angel blades, so you know if you shoot yourself, it will kill you. You don't want to die, but you have to. Dying is better than being in Lucifer's arms.
He's almost here, and you're not going to give him the satisfaction of taking this away from you. Tears stream down your face as you put the barrel of the gun against your right temple. All it takes is one shot and it will all be over. You'll sleep forever in the Empty where no one can hurt you.
You'll be free of any pain. You'll be free. I'll be free. I'll be free.
You repeat those three words as you prepare yourself for the end. You close your eyes tightly and pull the trigger. You die instantly, falling to the ground in a bloody mess. Lucifer in Sam's body finally gets to you, seeing the mess you created. All he does is grin and pick up the gun you used.
"So sweet you think this is the end," he chuckles.
