Supernatural Imagines: Book One

Out Of Touch

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam, Carter (OMC)

Warnings: this is all angst, not fluff

Summary: You and Dean used to be so close until one day he kicked you out of his life without any warnings. He didn't even know you were pregnant. You spend the next 8 years without him. You didn't need him then and you don't need him now.

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"Anything good in there?" Dean asked when he walked into the war room where Sam currently resided. Sam typed away on his laptop, the beer next to him hadn't even been opened.

"Yeah, I got something a few states away. A local woman drowned in her childhood home."

"How is that our thing?" Dean asked.

"She was sleeping in her bed when it happened. Her lungs were filled with salt water and her bed wasn't even wet."

"Yeah, that is our thing." Dean nodded and took a sip of his beer. Silence covered the brothers saved for Sam's typing until he suddenly stopped.

"You know what today is?" Sam asked his brother. Dean looked confused and was about to ask what when a look of realization came over his face.

"It was for the best, Sammy, you know that." He sighed.

"You loved her."

"And? She wasn't cut out for the job and she needed to leave."

"Okay, I know that we haven't been at the Bunker for that long but when we found it, you could have called her and let her come back. She could have stayed here out of harm's way."

"It was too late. The things I said to her... She probably hates me. Besides, she's probably out living her life, maybe has a family and could be married for all I know." Dean shrugged.

"You could still take those things back." Sam pleaded, missing your smile, the way you carried yourself. You were one of his best friends and it broke his heart when you left.

"No, I can't. I said some pretty nasty stuff back then. I wanted to break her heart so she would leave because if she stayed, I would have gotten her killed and I'd rather her hate me and be alive than dead. Hardest fucking thing I had to do." Dean shook his head.

"Right," Sam whispered and sighed. Today was the anniversary of the day you left the Winchesters. You were madly in love with Dean and thought life was going well for the two of you until one day, he decided to say some terrible things to you, breaking your heart. You left crying and he hasn't seen you since. You weren't cut out for hunting. You couldn't aim that well, couldn't even harm a fly and he knew if you hunted with him, you would constantly be in danger and you didn't deserve that.

Dean made you feel worthless that day. He said you were a burden to him and Sam and that you would be better off if you left. He said you couldn't hunt and with no amount of training, you would never be as good as him and Sam so you should quit before you got killed. It killed you to hear this come from his mouth because you knew the kind of person he was. You knew there was a reason he was saying these things to you but it didn't make it any easier.

You left that night, 8 years ago, crying your eyes out because the man you loved and you knew he loved you back had told you he didn't want you anymore. It was the worst night of your life and there hadn't been a day that went by that you weren't thinking of Dean. You were always on Dean's mind and he wished he could take back what he said, to have you in his arms again but it was too late. He ruined something pure and good and turned it sour.