'Partners forever' // An Upstead Story 🤍

Chapter 57: Not again

Jays POV
I reach my hand over to Hailey to pull her into me but I realise that it is empty. I open my eyes and look over to see that the covers are still pulled over on her side. It takes me a minute to remember that she's not here, not anymore. I do it every night. I forget every time I wake up. I keep forgetting that I can't just pull her into my arms anymore and to be honest I don't even know why. Right now I'm trying to give her space and respect that she needs to figure things out for herself, but at the same time I want to fight for her. I want her to know that I would do anything for her and I need her back.

Her words play on loop in my head as I think about that night. The pain is still so fresh in my heart as I lay here thinking about her laying in a different bed, in a hotel. I offered her the house but she refused and said that she didn't deserve it. Obviously I argued but in the end I realised that she wasn't gonna change her mind. It's the hardest thing I have ever done. Even when I returned the ring back to her she look so broken that I made me break. Her eyes tell me that she's scared and that she's doesn't want it to be over but her words tells me that it does.

I want to hold her and get the truth from her but I feel like she will lie to me so I wanted to give her a couple of days to get her head on straight but I can't do I'm gonna talk to her today though and I'm not leaving till I get a real honest answer from her. I pull out my phone and I go to her contact. I pull up her message and start typing. I debate whether I should send but in the end I do. Everyone knows that Hailey and I are taking a break but sadly only Hailey knows why. They all ask me but I don't know what to even say to them. All I can say is she needs space and I need to respect that. Which I do, I get that but the thing about Hailey is that if she is drowning and you leave her alone for a long time she starts to sink and I won't let that happen again.

I get up and get ready then head out for work. When I arrive I see that Hailey isn't here yet which is odd considering I'm late. Saying that we are both going through some shit so she probably isn't sleeping right. I look over to her desk and I don't like that it's empty. I want my partner back and I want my fiancé back. I don't know where this outburst has come from because it's so unexpected. I mean I don't think it has anything to do with Faith because she was healing she was getting better and then the other day she just changed.

It's now been an hour since I have arrived and I'm worried on why Hailey hasn't shown up yet. I was thinking maybe she has just called in a sick day because she doesn't want to deal with me and to be honest I'm hoping that is what is actually going on.
"Where's Upton?" Voight asks as he walks out of his office. We all look up at him. "I don't know, I'll call her" I say as I pull my phone out. I go to her contact and press call but the line stays quiet. "She's not answering" I say as I hang up. "Right we'll give her an hour before we start to worry. Maybe she caught a case like yesterday" he says as he walks back into his office. Something doesn't feel right though. "Jay you okay?" I hear Kim ask. "No, something in not right. Hailey never is late" I say as I start to message her.

1 hour later

I've called her twice and left tons of messages and she hasn't answered, I know that something is wrong. "Sarge" I say panicked as he walks back into the office. "Still nothing?" He asks concerned. I shake my head and he sighs. "What hotel is she staying at?" He asks but I freeze. "She-Ugh never told me" I say nervously. "Okay well we'll figure it out, I'll get Kim to ping her phone and Kevin to track her car" he says. They both nod before looking at there computers. "Is everything okay?" I ask impatiently. "I don't know yet" Kim sighs. I wait a minute before she looks up at us.

"It's says her phone is here in the car park" Kim says "yeah her car too" Kevin says and I feel myself relax. "Ohh okay so she's just coming then" Adam says.
"Wait no. It says her car has been here since last night. It has moved since 11:30pm." Kevin says as he looks up at me. "Her phone too" Kim says and now I panic. "But we left early. Why would she be there at that time? She wouldn't sleep in her car would she?" Adam asks confused. It takes me a minute to ignore his questions before I feel my adrenaline kick in. I get up from my desk and start to rush out of the bullpen.

I open the gate and run out before rushing past everyone downstairs. I open the door and run out of the district. I get outside and look over at the parking lot and I see her car parked in the far corner, I hear everyone rush out behind me as I run over to it. I get to it and open the drivers door, it's open. Her gun, badge and phone all sitting in the passenger side but there was no sign of Hailey. "Damn it" I say as I slam the door shut.

"Hey sarge we got blood" Adam says. I feel goosebumps all over my skin and my muscles tense. This is bad, this is really really bad. I start to really panic that she is in serious danger. I run around the car to where Adam is and I see everyone looking at the same thing. There was blood on the car door and a puddle of it on the ground, but my heart breaks in two when I see her engagement ring laying on the ground. I let out a shaky breath as I crouch down to the floor "It's Hailey's" I say in disbelief as I slowly pick up her ring and everyone looks at me worried. "Okay listen I want all of this as evidence, get a BOLO out now! I need a search team and a perimeter round here. Start following Hailey steps last night! I want footage now!" Voight orders to everyone.

I just stand here staring at her ring while everyone rushes around me. I shouldn't have left her alone. I feel someone place a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Voight there. "Jay come on, you shouldn't be looking at all of this" he says as he pulls me away from the scene and into the district. "Guys what's going on?" I hear Platt ask worried. "We think Hailey's been taken" Voight says as she looks shocked. "What no, I saw her last night" she says "it happened outside her car" I say in disbelief as I turn away and start to head up stairs. How the hell can she be hurt when this place is swarming with cops I mean what the actual fuck is going on. Has someone been realised from prison and found her? Was someone following her? Was it random? Was it planned? Was she targeted? Millions of questions flooded my mind as I walk over to my desk.

I sit down at my desk and I place her ring in my pocket. "I promise I will get it back to you" I whisper as I look at the a photo of me and her sitting on my desk. I look over to hers and everything is neatly in place, just as she left it. All I can think about is how I wasn't there for her and it's killing me. Knowing if I had just stayed with her she would't be gone right now. I brought out of my thoughts when everyone rushed up stairs. I rub my eyes and then stand up so I am ready to help. "What have we got?" I ask as I walk over to them. "We are still waiting for the security footage to come so in the mean time we are trying to piece together what she was doing here last night. Kevin is trying to work her phone to see if any of that can help." Kim says as she walks past me and to the white board. I turn my attention to Adam and he looks up at me worriedly.

"We have sent patrol officers to check the hotel but they said she wasn't there. There was nothing in her car to help us and the blood is away to get sampled and DNA tested. So we will know if it's hers" He says. I nod and then I look over to the white board. There is a picture of Hailey on it with the word 'victim' underneath it. Across the board Kim is putting up a timeline of her events from yesterday. I take a deep breath as I go over to the board, I slowly place my hand on the picture of her. I look up at it with tears in my eyes as the picture is of her smiling, with a huge glow in her. I can almost feel the sunshine and warm radiating off of her like when she smiles or laughs near me. She always gave off this warmth when she was happy, this feeling that would make you feel like whole. It's so heartbreaking to look at it now though knowing that the last couple of days she hasn't been like that. "I will get you back, I promise" I whisper.