The Incomplete Ramblings of an Insomniac

B is for...

I would love to explain the things I feel on a daily, the vibes I get from people, the gut feelings and knowing things that just turn out right. I have tried to explain these things. I hit roadblocks every time by people not believing what I am saying until they see it for themselves. Even when I am proven right countless times, people still question it. I have powers that not many others have even begun to tap into and for me it is just another thing that makes me who I am. Prime example would be my boyfriend and his friend. Now this friend is a female, but that is not what bothers me. This friend of his has multiple boyfriends and vents to my boyfriend about all her life struggles. She is the type to bitch and complain but never fix anything. She blew in like a gust of wind on trash day downwind of the landfill.

My boyfriend was in a bad place mentally with his mother passing recently. This friend of his has been known for randomly popping up and disappearing so this was the first time she had been around since I had. I got bad vibes from her and the situation before I ever even saw a picture of this woman. I could feel the negative energy that was rubbing off of her and on to my boyfriend. I have tried everything to get him to understand what I am feeling and that these feelings are strong enough without me ever meeting this woman. She calls him baby. He did it once thinking it was just a cute nickname until I told him how uncomfortable it made me. He stopped immediately. I have laid down ground rules for if she comes over to hang out. She went to the bathroom and made the conscious decision to try to cuddle him on the couch. I even installed a camera to watch how she acts around him when I am not him as god forbid she won't even try to text or call or come hang out if she thinks I am home. I am not comfortable with them hanging out or even talking anymore. We have a deal when we move to a different house she is not allowed over. I hope he can extend that to where we are now. I am perfectly fine with him having friends, even the opposite sex, but when I get such negative feelings, I can't ignore them. She has been abnormally silent lately since I worked it out with my boss to have most Sundays off which is the day they hung out the most, and I have started to get my boyfriend to wear crystals that repel negative energy. I have also cleansed my home and have crystals throughout to keep the energy light in my home. I am not possessive nor jealous nor insecure. I am territorial and this woman needs to realize how she is acting is wrong.

If my boyfriend had asked me to stop talking to someone or it makes him uncomfortable, I would stop no questions asked. I feel I should get the same respect. I don't mind them being friends but this woman needs to learn some manners of how to act around someone who is taken. Every action I have seen from this woman has shown me she has ulterior motives and she wants to have a back up plan as she is not happy where she is in life. She will not take the best thing that has ever happened to me away from me. I am not the small young naive little girl I was. She needs to learn how to be respectful and back off before I get angry. Right now she is a mild nuisance in my life. It's up to her if she wants to learn manners or make an enemy that will never lose. She has her boyfriend and her side pieces, she does not need mine and I will be damned if I let her play him they way every one else in his life has. I made a promise to his mother before her passing that I would take care of him no matter what. I have never broken a promise, and I am not about to start.

This woman has found any and every reason to not come over when I am there. A real woman would have come over when I'm there to meet me and hang out with both of us. I'm afraid my boyfriend is clueless and does not see what she is trying to do. This woman had her chance with my boyfriend a long time ago. She blew by being who she was. Life doesn't work that way. You don't get another chance to pull someone through the ringer once again just because you are unhappy with your own life. I hate people who try to steal other peoples happiness because they can't create their own. This is the same situation with another one of his female friends. The second one has asked him to accompany her to a wedding to end up making an ex husband jealous I'm assuming but she is putting him in harms way as she knows my boyfriend wants to kill her ex husband. In my opinion he shouldn't go with her or at the very least take me with him so she can't just use him or he can't get himself in trouble. I'm not invited to this wedding as for reasons that are obvious and with the cherry on top being that she asks him if he is alone before she calls and talks.

I may be younger than all of these people by close to two decades but they need to realize I'm a lot older than I look. I'm quiet because I see everything and I know what they are thinking before they think it. I know the plans. I know the games. They will not win. This is something I do very well. They have lost before they have even begun. Messing with me or my happiness will be the worst decision they ever made and all it will do is rip him from their lives. I hope they know this. I will be top dog. That's why everyone calls me a Bitch. I stand up. I speak up. I don't back down. Not anymore.