The Incomplete Ramblings of an Insomniac

Disney Lied.

     I believe Disney lied. In the entire world consisting of seven continents, one hundred ninety five countries, and eight billion people, we are somehow supposed to find this "one true love". Our soulmate who matches us perfectly and is our other half. How? First, how do you meet eight billion people? I mean, you could narrow it down by gender, but since gender nowadays is only a label and has no real meaning, you could be cutting out the "one true love" meant for you right from the beginning. With all of the dialects in the world, how would you speak to and understand them? How would you even get to all of the countries?

     I used to believe in the red string of fate. You and your soulmate were tied together by a red string that could stretch and constrict but never break. Too many times, I had explained it to people I thought could be at the end of my string only for them to take scissors and cut mine away. They wanted to show me what a real true relationship was, all the while intending to shatter me into a million pieces so I wasn't valuable to anyone again.

     By pure luck, strength, resilience, and plain stubbornness, I never gave up completely. I had gotten really really close, but there was always something that kept telling me that everyone has a soulmate, and mine wouldn't treat me this way. I do believe we have people out in the world that can match our energy, our vibrations, our love... but are not necessarily our soulmates. Soulmates are this and much more. At least they are supposed to be.

      To me, a soulmate is someone who you feel consumed with love for. The mention of their name brings a giddy smile to your face and butterflies to your stomach. The sight of them, even in a picture, makes your breath catch in your throat. Their voice is a melody in your ears. Their scent awakens every animal instinct inside of you while simultaneously relaxing you and telling you you are safe, you are home. Hugging becomes safety. Kissing becomes craving. Making love or fucking becomes devouring.

     Not only does the physical attraction become off the chart where every touch sends your nerve endings on high alert, but the mental connection is astounding. The common interests, the discussions, the way you can tell each other a novel of things within just one look. You allow each other to be completely genuine with one another and let out all the dirty demons knowing you will both still be there in the morning.

     Seven continents. One hundred ninety five countries. Eight billion people. One set person for each of us. I thought I could have found mine. It is like we are from two different planets so I know it wouldn't have likely worked out. But for just a few bittersweet moments, I will let myself believe. Believe in soulmates, believe in fate, believe in true love, and the possibility that miracles may just come about one day.