The Incomplete Ramblings of an Insomniac

My Brain is Chaos Part One

So my brain is figuring out more and more ways to torture me. So we are going to brain dump one subject at a time and see what happens.

Part One- Is it possible to have more than one soulmate?

So my brain has been going in circles lately about this and I believe it is because I have been able to process a lot of my feelings from my previous relationship. That relationship, if you even want to call it that, completely shattered me. But there was such a strong feeling even before we started dating. We were friends for two years prior. The first night we talked, we talked for over eight hours and about everything under the sun. There was something that drew me to him, something I would never understand. There was like this giant magnetic pull to him that was unmistakable. But this started to make me think lately, what if there was more than one soulmate? More than one magnetic pull? I've heard of things about twin flames and maybe my ex was that.. I would like to believe that there are multiple soulmates for a person, for each section of their life. I have been in three major relationships in my life. My first lasted seven years. This man was a sweetheart to me and helped me grow from a new adult into a more confident and well rounded adult. I have no ill will to this soulmate. We simply just fell out of love. I was too young to know any better. May 19, 2018 was when my life changed horribly. I was broken. completely shattered. The day after, I broke to my friend. He confessed feelings knowing that I had hidden feelings for him. It was three months of pure bliss. I was the happiest I had ever been. He helped put me back together again and I became so much stronger than I ever thought. Three months after, I was told that this man who I was head over heels for was not actually in love with me, and only dated me to, and I quote, "show me what a good and honest relationship is." Once again I was shattered. All the rebuilding was completely demolished. This time, I took a little break. I couldn't breathe. For so long, I couldn't breathe. I was talking to someone I started to get to know through my work. He fell in love so quickly. I was too damaged. But as time went on, I felt the feeling again. I felt safe. Safe was all I needed. It is going on two years in about a month, and I am the strong person I used to be. Stronger in fact, as I am a better person than I ever was. I know who I am and what I want. I am strong, I am brave, I am loved, and I have been learning how to love myself which is what I truly need. He may be the most annoying idiot on the planet, but he is my idiot. I would not be on this earth if he did not come into my life and gave me my safe place. My home.

Part 2 to Follow: My vivid dreams about Covid and the world...