The Incomplete Ramblings of an Insomniac

Small World?

Have you ever felt like you are a giant to everything around you? I am having an Alice in Wonderland moment. Everything and everyone that seemed so tall, so big and overpowering, now seem insignificant. Everything just seems so much smaller around me. It almost feels like I ate bad mushrooms sometimes. Maybe it is me. Maybe I have just grown up, grown out of this place. I look around and see nothing but emptiness here anymore. I am not supposed to be here anymore. I can tell. An old soul in a young body. But what is here exactly? Is it this place? This job? This state? This life? I've never lived anywhere else so I don't know yet. I'm too nice for this world I do know that much. The people around here do not deserve the kindness I have, yet maybe they deserve it the most. These people ooze pain. It seeps out of them and deadens the ground around them. It is in the air. It is on what they touch. It swirls around them; A gray mist slowly clogging your throat. They spew their hate and pain through words and judgments, allowing themselves to blindly follow what others have taught them instead of thinking for themselves. They are so ready to accept what life wants them to be that they forget who they truly are. I see through the mist and try to be kind to the scared souls cowering behind it. The scars on my body and heart enlighten my journey to get to the base of people, the parts they hide from themselves. A ray of sunshine breaking through storm clouds of only for an instant. My walk is the hardest because I refuse to accept what society wants me to be. I will not let myself fit in that box. My walk will also be the most rewarding. I seek the people on my walk. The easily taken advantage of. The too nice. The "Naive". The goodhearted. The "you have a lot to learn about the world". I know what I need to. This world is just like me. It is not on me that everyone else feeds into the corruption of the human race. Maybe a different state will be better. Maybe a new planet. I'm ready to find out.