Love Always, Chris

Chapter 16~ Hospital feels

Christopher 🤍
We lost the baby. No words can describe the pain I feel right now. It was like a truck was sitting on top of my chest I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't imagine how Estella felt right now. She's just sitting in the hospital bed staring out the window. She won't talk, won't eat, won't do anything. All I can do is try my best to be here for her. Makayla showed up quickly after we arrived at the hospital, and she got in the bed and laid with her best friend. You could hear faint cries almost every twenty minutes. I felt so bad and it sucks to know there was nothing I could. Dr.Dalila sebcallsmebae walked in the room.

"Hello Mrs.Carlisle, how are you doing?", she said calmly.

There was no response so Makayla stepped in for her before I could.

"She's just trying to process this still, but she'll be okay soon just one day at a time", Kayla reassured the doctor.

"That's good well Ms.Estella I have your prescription ready for pick up, but we've decided to keep you for the week just to make sure you don't have severe pain as this passes through. I'm also so sorry you had to go through this, but just know bad days are temporary, and I know so many women who have went through what you did today and they come out of this stronger and they get pregnant again and that pregnancy goes smoothly", Dr.Dalila said before she walked out of the room.

"hey boo do you want some water?", Kayla asked.

Ella just nodded her head signaling yes. As Makayla exited the room I walked over to the bed, and crouched down next to her.

"You know I love you right, and we'll get through this together", I said.

She just put her hand on top of mine, and gave me a look that just crushed me. I lost a child too, but I wasn't carrying it.

"I love you, and I'm sleepy", she said.

"Get some rest babe I'll be right here in this chair beside you", I said kissing her head.

Makayla walked back in with the water.

"Here you go sunshine!", she handed it to Ella.

Later that night
I woke up in the chair to the sound of crying. I walked over to Ella and laid down right next to hair.

"It'll be okay sweetheart", I said rubbing her arm.

Not too shortly after she fell asleep in my arms.

Estella🤍
I woke up in the middle of the night and I felt Chris arms wrapped around me. I'm in pain, my heart is broken, I'm confused, and I really just want to die quite frankly. Why me? I loved Chris but I honestly couldn't do this anymore, and it was time to tell him. Every time I look at him I think about the life we created together, and now it's now taken away from us. It's too much pain, and I love Chris and I don't want to break his heart but I feel this is what's best for me. I'm going to wait until Makayla gets back to make sure Chris leaves. Why the fuck am I so stupid?, but I know this is what I need to heal. Why am I not caring about how this will crush Chris though? I guess I'm just like my mom after all.

To Be Continued