DC Headcanons 2: Electric Boogaloo

Checkmate

Ontario watched bitterly as Louisiana sat on DC's desk, talking to him softly and capturing the fed's attention.

It made him sick.

Louisiana was speaking Cajun to DC, and DC was reduced to putty in his hands. DC was staring at Louisiana with wide eyes, a goofy smile on his, forgetting the entire world as he listened to his boyfriend speak. But it wasn't the right kind of French, it wasn't the proper version of French, it was an Americanized version that sounded so wrong compared to the real thing.

Sometimes all Ontario wanted to do was grab DC and talk to him in real French, and see if he can reduce him to putty like Louisiana did to him with Cajun. That would at least get the fed to leave Louisiana; once he knew what the real language was, nothing would compare.

Ontario snapped out of his thoughts, put on a fake smile and walked into the office, unnoticed by the two.

"Mo linm twa." Louisiana whispered.

"Yeah." DC said dreamily.

"Joie de vivre." DC sighed happily, closing his eyes, jumping when a cup of coffee was placed on his desk.

"Morning DC!" Ontario greeted.

"Oh morning 'Tario." DC said with a smile, coming out of his love funk. "Sorry I didn't hear you come in, Loui was teaching me some Cajun."

"I'm taking my boy to New Orleans, he needs to learn." Louisiana said proudly as DC took a sip of his coffee.

"Well it's good to learn a second language." Ontario said through gritted teeth as DC gagged.

"Did you put cream and sugar in this?" DC asked.

"Fuck. Sorry DC I forgot." Ontario admitted.

"It's alright darlin', I'll grab you another cup." Louisiana announced taking the cup from his boyfriend.

"Thanks Loui. Mon live wa." DC called after him as the southern man made his way out of his office.

"You almost got it sha." Louisiana said with a smile, winking before leaving. Ontario felt himself become sick.

"So what do we have on the docket today?" DC asked going full professional.

"Just some taxes Canada wants us to look over.....shit I think I left it on the copier." Ontario lied.

"That's alright, it'll give me time to pull up those docs." DC said with a smile. Ontario left DC's office and made his way down the hall, except instead of going to the copier, he took a hard right and made his way to the kitchens. He entered the small kitchen room just as Louisiana put the mug in the coffee machine to fill it up.

"Hey." Ontario called, a hard edge to his voice.

"What's up?" Louisiana asked, not looking over to the Canadian province and instead focusing on looking for something in the cabinets.

"You need to cut that shit out with DC. Cajun French is not real French." Ontario said with a hiss.

"Pfft...okay." Louisiana said with a snicker.

"I mean it, it's not." Ontario said with a glare.

"None of us are speaking true French, pretty sure France would like to forget we're butchering her language." Louisiana pointed out taking out a small bottle of honey out of the cabinet. Ontario felt himself filled with rage.

"I bet if I spoke real French to him, he'd melt." Ontario said and that made Louisiana pause. The southern state turned to the province and glared.

"Whatcha mean?" Louisiana hissed.

"You heard me. If I spoke the real language to him, the proper language, he'd swoon as much or more as when you do your....version." Ontario pointed out. The machine beeped signaling the coffee was done, but Louisiana ignored it, going toe-to-toe with Ontario.

"I don't know why you've got such a chip on your shoulder." Louisiana began in a low-voice. "But you best watch out."

"And why's that? 'Cuss you all know I'm better for DC in every conceivable way? Face it Louisiana we're both governments, we both run our respective countries, why would DC lower himself to date states?" Ontario asked.

"You've never been told no a day in your life have you?" Louisiana asked. "DC is spoken for. Now we may not be the most intelligent, or the most cultured, and have wildly different political views, but we love that boy. We love him more than life itself. And he loves us for what we are, not what we represent."

"He'll figure it out one day." Ontario hissed, feeling slightly nervous at Louisiana's tough tone. He thought the Cajun would go down easily. "He'll figure out he's too good for you lot."

"That's the one difference between DC and you." Louisiana smirked. "He doesn't act like he's better just because he's the government. He knows at the end of the day we're all human and bleed the same. Maybe you should take a page out of his book." Ontario was stunned as Louisiana poured some honey into the hot coffee, stirred it, then picked up the mug.

"But I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers." Louisiana announced before walking off leaving Ontario in the kitchen. Ontario watched the Cajun man go before silently screaming, knocking some of the disposable coffee cups off the counter and onto the floor.

He won't be taken down that easily.

"Here you go darlin'." Louisiana handed DC his coffee mug. The fed took a sip and sighed in happiness.

"Perfect. You and poppy make the best coffee." DC said with a soft smile. He looked behind Louisiana confused. "Where's 'Tario? He was just grabbing something off the copier."

"Oh I passed him in the hall, he's helping someone unjam it." Louisiana explained. He sat on the edge of the desk as DC took another sip of his coffee.

"Want to hear some more?" Louisiana asked teasingly. DC clutched his mug in both hands and leaned back in his chair, smiling.

"I think I have time." DC whispered.

"Bon ami." Louisiana announced, and he smiled as DC closed his eyes and hummed happily. Ontario could come in and speak all the French he wanted, Louisiana had DC wrapped around his fingers whenever he spoke Cajun.

DC was there's, no matter what Ontario tried.