BAD HABIT |Billie Eilish|

THE HOSPITAL

BILLIE'S POV

I was counting the doors I was passing by. When I was only one door before the right one I stopped, even though just a second ago I was almost running. It took me like a minute to collect myself before I stepped closer to the window and finally saw the hospital room she was in.

Her dad, Jasmine, her mom and Tate were there, near the bed so I couldn't actually see Tinley on the hospital bed. It was really hard to grab that fucking door handle and step inside. Do they know about us? Will they kick me out as soon as they see me opening that stupid door? 

"Billie?" I flinched as someone put their hand on my shoulder and turned my head, meeting with Sue. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"

"Never mind" I sighed, looking at that window and then back at Sue. "How is she?"

"She hasn't woken up yet" She leaned on the wall. "Everything is okay except broken finger and her legs"

"What's with her legs?" I swear to God I was happy and scared as fuck at the same time because she said it like something really bad happened to her legs.

"Hot liquid from the car burnt her legs, I don't know what exact procedure she had but something like skin transplantation if I heard it right" She shrugged.

"Holy fuck" I pressed my hand to my forehead. "Did her doctor tell y'all when she's gonna wake up?"

She couldn't answer because the door was opened and Tinley's dad appeared in the hall. I stayed on my spot and almost stopped breathing, trying to figure out if he's gonna kick me out or not.

"Oh, Billie, you're already here" He looked tired and leaned on the door frame. "I tried to call you but your mom answered, she said they're gonna be here soon" David hugged me with his arm, rubbing my shoulder. 

I guess she didn't tell them and I don't even know if it's a good thing or not. I stayed silent while he was comforting me near her hospital room.

"She's not awake yet but you can come in to see her" I nodded, entering the room and meeting her other family members. They all greeted me as usual so I was right, no one except our friends know. 

Not gonna lie, I was lost. I didn't know what to do and if I even had a right to stay there with her and her loved ones. But I went straight to her bed, as her mom and Jasmine left the room and Tate rubbed my shoulder in support. 

She was sleeping, with all these creepy wires around her body and this machine that made weird sounds, probably her heart beat. I sat on the chair near the bed, wiping a tear off my cheek. 

Tinley was so calm and beautiful, as if she's just sleeping in her bed. I loved to watch her when she was asleep. 

But now she smelled like hospital clothes and alcohol, probably doctors used it for cleaning her wounds. On her temple I saw a big bruise, her nails were broken and there was some blood on her fingers. I looked at her hand for a few more seconds before slowly touching it and intertwining our fingers. 

I know I had no rights to do it and she would be disguised by my actions if she was awake but it's the last time I can hold her hand or even to be that close to her. I know that as soon as she open her eyes I have to apologize to her and her family and leave. I knew that if Roe or her other friends will come here they will spill the truth and I'll have to leave. I have to leave anyways but if it's the last minutes I have to hold her hand I will do it. Even if she will hate me even more.

"I'm so sorry, Tinley" I whispered. "If I could change what I've done I would do it, whatever it would cost me" 

I wiped my tears off with the sleeve of my hoodie.