BAD HABIT |Billie Eilish|

In memory of

A/N:

Short one, but I'll update in a minute again😁

Funeral day. I wasn't prepared for that, we used to be so close with Isaac and his family supported me a lot when I got my heart surgery. Isaac and his dad spent hours in my room in the hospital, trying to cheer me up when I thought my life was over. They were so close and Mr. Harmon was dreaming about to see Isaac's wedding and his kids in the future. He promised to take us to the mountains before out last year of school. He even found a few trips he wanted to book for all of us. 

He helped my dad when he just started his small business with a grocery store and when we had no money Mr. Harmon loaned us a large amount of money. And now I'm picking a black dress for his funeral. Life is so unfair. 

"Babe, take it" Billie handed me a napkin and I didn't even know I was crying. She hugged me from behind and softly kissed my shoulder. "Do you want some water?"

"No" I said with a husky voice, facing her and burying my face in her neck. I sobbed quietly and Bil hugged me tighter, stroking the top of my head. "I don't even know what to say to Isaac"

"You don't have to, just be there for him. That's enough. And I doubt that he needs any words right now" She cupped my cheeks and made me to look at her. "Listen to me, we're kinda late already so just put your dress on and let's go. Everything will be okay"

I nodded even if it felt like I was about to pass out any second. Thankfully Billie offered to give me a ride this morning so she came a little bit earlier and it made me feel better because I was crying my eyes out for the whole night. 

I put on my black dress and black boots since it was pretty cold outside. We didn't talk much in the car, Billie turned on the music and I was staring at the window, trying to collect myself and not to fall apart in front if everyone as soon as we enter the Harmon's house. 

Mr. Harmon was murdered three days ago, he was robbed not that far away from the building he was working in and probably he tried to fight back so he was stabbed a few times and he dead in the ambulance. I couldn't even imagine what Isaac's family was going through because they all were so close and such a happy family. So much plans and dreams were ruined by one dickhead who decided that he has a fucking right to rob people and stab them. 

Billie parked her car in front of Isaac's house and it took me a few seconds to put myself together and go out. Their house was crowded, family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, everyone was there. I noticed Roe and Stella, they were on the bench with a little boy. Isaac's little brother, he's only one year old and he will never remember his dad. 

"Hey" Roe smiled sadly, looking at us, I nodded, holding my tears. I didn't want to cry in front of a child because it was obvious that he was with girls because his mom didn't want him to see everyone's crying. 

"Hi" Billie smiled. "Who's that little boy?" She tickled his sides and he giggled, clumsy grabbing her hands. It was adorable, especially since she's not that much into kids and she's not soft at all but I guess she just wanted to make Isaac's little brother a little bit happier. Thankfully, he didn't understand the whole situation. 

"Everyone is inside, saying their last goodbyes" Stella sighed. "Their family decided that guests won't go to the cemetery"

"Okay" Bil nodded and looked at me, taking my hand. "Let's go?" I nodded and we headed to the front door. With every step I felt myself worse and worse. I saw my dad in their house, he came back from his business trip as soon as he found out about Mr. Harmon's death. 

"That's my dad" I pointed to his direction and we both headed to him. It was hard to see all these people, his crying wife and an old lady, probably his mother. "Hi" I said as we approached my father. 

"Hi, girls" Dad sighed sadly. "How's Isaac? I didn't see him today"

"He won't show up. He said he wants to remember his dad alive" Billie's voice was really sad. 

"I love you" I hugged him tightly, sobbing into his jacket. Usually I'm not that soft with my dad but this whole situation made me realize how much I love him and that he won't be with me for the rest of my life. I'm scared that one day I'll be on Isaac's place and the thought of my father being dead is terrifying me. 

"I love you too" I never let go of Billie's hand so I kinda pressed her to my dad and he hugged us both. "Don't be late tonight, please, I need to talk to you" He said me before we headed to the coffin. 

I was scared to look at Mr. Harmon's dead body and I got it why Isaac decided not to come. It is better to have your last memory with a person as a good one, not his dead body in front of me. But it was too late, it felt like my eyes glued to his grey face. 

I put my hand on the edge of his coffin, covering my mouth with my other one. My heart dropped and a few tears appeared on my cheeks. Billie was gently rubbing my back. I carefully touched his cold hand, it felt like a stone, and leaned a little bit closer as if he could hear me.

"Goodbye, Mr. Harmon" I whispered with a quiet sob and looked at him one last time until coming back to their yard. It felt surreal to realize that I will never see him again. 

Mrs. Harmon announced that they are going to say their last speeches before all the family members go to the cemetery. We all sat in the living room, there were so quiet except for sounds of sobs and crying. The smell of flowers and candles hit my nostrils and my eyes glued to now closed coffin. I've never thought that my favorite red wooden color might scare me but at that moment I was literally trembling. The coffin's color was so deep and I just couldn't look away. 

We waited until Mrs. Harmon get ready to give us her speech and I took a napkin because I knew that one word about him and I'l cry. She put her finger under her nostrils to stop the tears, holding a piece of paper in her shaking hands. 

"Dear family, friends and everyone who knew my husband" She started and I grabbed Billie's hand, squeezing it tightly. "It's so hard to say my last goodbye, especially at the age of 39. He was a great husband, father, friend, son. Liam loved his life, he filled his every day with happiness and love to everything that was surrounding him" I noticed that someone joined us and sat on the chair in the end of the room, I turned my head and almost gasped. There was Isaac, with pale face, in black jacket and with a piece of paper in his hands. I guess his mother saw him too because she stopped in the middle of her sentence. It took her a few seconds to put herself together and continue. "I don't think I can express my feelings with words. So, all I have to say, I love you, Liam. And I'll miss you" Mrs. Harmon softly touched the coffin, loudly sighing. 

She approached Isaac who looked broken. They talked for a few seconds and he got up, heading to the coffin. We all froze, watching his every move. Isaac gently touched the coffin, whispering something but we barely heard him. Eventually he faced us.

"I wrote what I want to say" He started, looking at his own feet and wiping his tears off with his sleeve. I swallowed hard and my heart ached so bad, it was killing me to see him like that. "I'm so proud of my dad, he was my hero and he's still my hero. Dad taught me everything, he was my best friend and he supported me all the time. I wanted to make him proud, go to the college, get a good job, start my own family but there's no more time" Isaac put his fingers on the bridge of his nose, stopping himself from crying. "Not gonna lie, I didn't believe in souls and all this 'life after death' thing. But now I believe because all that I have now is faith and it is the only way to make him proud" 

I don't believe the half of his words because I was crying in Billie's shoulder. All his memories with Mr. Harmon and the way he was talking about his dad made everyone cry. 

"Rest easy, dad. I'll never forget you" He said, looking at the coffin. 

Liam Harmon was buried a few hours later, January 24th. Loving father, husband, son, friend.