BAD HABIT |Billie Eilish|

Presents

Nothing.

I can't even describe how bad my whole body was shaking and it seemed like my own lungs refused to work. I heard my heartbeat in my ears and nothing else at that moment, like someone turned off the sound of the TV. 

It felt like hours when I heard the floor creaking, I slowly turned around, barely breathing and with trembling jaw. She was there, trying not to drop all that presents she got for me. With her messy blue hair, red from crying cheeks, she seemed nothing like Billie we all used to know. 

She wasn't confident as usual. Billie always knew what to do in every possible situation, she knew how to fix everything but now she looks like she is a little girl who lost herself. It was painful to see her like that, I knew that she didn't mean to hurt me and, probably, all Billie's actions hurt her a lot worse then they hurt me. 

Our hazel eyes met her crystal blue ones and I lost it. Why the fuck it's really that hard just to love each other? Be like best friends and trust each other? Be sure about yourself and your partner? Not to throw a temper tantrum every time when it's not perfect and someone did something wrong? Talk to each other and fucking love each other? 

"Baby, I'm so sor-" Her whisper made me stop thinking about the whole situation.

"Shut the fuck up" I cut her off, quickly approaching her and pressing my lips to hers. It tasted like salty tears, mint gum and sweet coconut cream. I cupped her cheeks, rubbing her skin with my thumbs. It took her a few seconds to wrap her arms around my neck and we never deepened the kiss. It wasn't passionate or needy kiss, it was slow, gentle and filled with pain, love and something else but I don't even know how to describe that feeling. It was something between caring about each other and fear of losing each other. 

My hands trailed to her neck and I played with her hair, gently putting it behind her ear. I don't know if it was possible to press my body closer to hers, but I made it as my main goal at that moment. Billie probably understood me and tightened her grip on my waist, I softly moaned in her mouth but it wasn't that type of moan when you're turned on. We both felt that connection between us, it wasn't something sexual. Well, it was, but not at that time. I wanted to disappear into her, be a part of her even if it sounds cheesy and stupid. 

"I love you" I smiled in her lips. "I don't want to talk about anything now, let's just chill and hold each other?"

"I love you too, princess" she pressed her forehead to mine. "Yeah, we can do everything you want"

"I want to finish that episode and then open my presents" It was a fucking miracle how she could make me feel miserable and then show up and make everything just perfect. I'm scared of what she's doing to me. But as long as she's here for me, holding my hand and whispering her dumb jokes in my ear as if she's saying something cute, I'm fucking ready to drown myself in her ocean eyes.

Billie climbed on the couch, pulling me on her lap and covering us with my soft blanket. I grabbed the plate with my birthday cake leftovers, putting it on my knees. I barely ate it myself because feeding Billie was a lot more fun. I smeared the cream all over her face and she couldn't wipe it off since her hands were on my waist under my pj's shirt. 

"Stop it" She laughed as I blended it as if it was a foundation. "Okay, I warned you" With that she pressed her cheek to my face and all that coconut cream I smeared on her face just left on my own skin and hair. 

"Billie" I exclaimed with a large grin on my face. "I need to wash my face now"

"Okay, seems like you paid no attention to The Witcher and I already saw that episode so let's wash that shit off our faces and open your presents.