don't look back

eight|| reflections

A/N: Minor self-harm and panic attack.

Sage.

August 30, 2018.

Pushing the door open, I immediately walked to the sinks, leaning onto the counter in an attempt to balance myself. My breathing turned into light heaving as I choked back tears. I did not want to have a full-on panic attack right now. My nails were subconsciously digging into my left wrist, trying to ground myself as best as possible.

"Hey," a soft voice spoke from beside me. I hadn't even realized anyone else was in here, my brain too foggy to process anything at this moment. I did not reply, instead, I started counting my breaths as I turned my head. I blinked away tears, not wanting whoever this person was to see me crying.

When I was met with a pair of piercing blue eyes and a perfect pail face, it felt as though someone had kicked me in the gut. Knocking the air out of my lungs just as I had finally caught my breath.

"Hi." I internally facepalmed myself for the shaky voice that came out accidentally.

"Hey, I'm Billie," the blue-haired girl introduced herself. Obviously, I know who she is but I wasn't expecting her to be nice. Her eyes were beyond captivating. They drew me in, like a rip current in the ocean that sucks you in and no matter how hard you kick and scream, you can't escape it. You can't stop looking.

"Yeah, hi. I'm Sage," I blinked once before tearing my eyes from her and turning to the mirror.

"You okay? You look tense," she spoke softly and even though I wasn't looking at her, I could sense her ora stepping closer to me.

"Ugh yeah," I cleared my throat. I'm not star-struck, honestly, I've gone to lots of concerts and meet and greets with my favourite artists, for some reason I never get star-struck. In the end, they are just humans. I don't even know Billie aside from her music, but her eyes, her eyes had my stomach doing backflips.

"Are you sure?" Now I could see her standing slightly behind me through the reflection displayed in the mirror.

"Y-yeah," I stuttered as our eyes met again, this time in the mirror.

"You work here? I've never seen you around," her voice softened in a way that made my knees go weak. As her eyes never left mine, I could see a slight smile growing on her lips.

"No, I-umm signing a contract I guess," I shrugged, turning around and leaning against the sink. Though she was beautifully intimidating, her presence made me feel oddly safe. I tried to look anywhere but her eyes, though it was impossible.

"Oh damn, that's exciting!"

I took a deep inhale and shook my head 'no'. "More like anxiety-inducing," I chuckled dryly.

"True, you'll be okay, though" her smile turned into a more empathetic one.

"Yeah, I umm," I pointed to the door, "I should get back," I cleared my throat once again before walking out of the bathroom; not daring to look back.

-

'This document contains an important agreement which is likely to affect you in the long term basis. Before signing you should be sure you understand its contents.'

Sat on the hard cement with my back against the brick wall, contract in hand; I took a moment to stop reading and look out on the view of LA I had from my balcony. This contract was important to read but the interaction I had with the blue-haired girl today wouldn't leave my brain. If she hadn't have been there, I surely would have had a full-blown panic attack. It was an odd encounter on my part. Usually, if a stranger saw me on the verge of an attack it would only increase it; in this instance, she took it away. That's not normal.

There was something about the calm 'hey' that escaped her lips. The way her eyes locked in mine and didn't let them look anywhere else for a moment, made me forget everything.

A ringing beside me snapped me out of my thoughts. A large smile pulled on my lips when I saw it was my mom calling. "Mama," I exclaimed, holding the phone up to my ear.

"Hi dear, how is my baby?"

"I'm good, currently reading the contract I texted you about earlier. Got distracted by the sunset though," I chuckled as my eyes lifted back up to the pink sky in front of me.

"Don't get too distracted, it's important to read every word," she reminded.

"Yes ma," I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Anyway, I saw your cover of that Billie Eilish girl. The name sounded so familiar and I did some researching, guess what I figured out?" Her voice grew more and more excited.

"That she's a millionaire with thousands of fans?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yes, but no. Her mom, Maggie Baird, we used to be best friends in college!"

"Really? No fucking way!" My eyes furrowed together, there's no way my family has any connection to any celebrities, right? Although I do believe her, she did grow up here.

"Yes! We talked for a few years after moving to Aspin but we just kind of lost touch," she explained.

"Damn, that's crazy. You think she'd remember you?"

"Well, she was with me when I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant with Paisley; and in college, we were a little reckless, we had our first threes-"

"MOM STOP!" I shouted, not wanting to hear about her college experiences.

"Okay okay," she laughed.

"I should get back to reading this nonsense," I yawned, just now realizing how tired I was.

"Okay, sleep well tonight sweetie. I love you."

"Love you too mom."

-

A/N: Woah, a lot happened here. What are we thinking?

Fun fact, I have an entirely different version of this chapter lmao. It was too emotional, yall ain't ready for that yet. We are just getting started.