don't look back

five|| spending

A/N: Sorry this took a while, I got mad writer's block.

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Sage

August 27, 2018.

Picking up the milk from the fridge, I carefully pour it over the bowl already filled with cereal. I know I'll need to eat sparingly because I don't plan on attempting another grocery trip anytime soon. The only place I want to go is the music store. It's been four nights here and I'm already tired of only having a ukulele. I don't have much extra money to spend but I need at least a keyboard. Though the ukulele is what I'm most confident playing, I was getting good at the piano before I left home.

I'm not great with the whole production of music. Mixing and mastering music is way above my ability, my brother is great at it so he has tried to teach me. I'm hoping to learn better but it's very overwhelming.

I haven't dared look at my youtube channel, too afraid to cross any hate comments. For every five positive feedbacks, there is one negative. I know that hate shouldn't bother me, but I'm a human, how could it not affect me? I'm already insecure about myself, the only thing I have slight confidence in, is my voice; I don't need that being taken away from me as well.

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Stepping into the small yet fully stocked music store, I felt at a home; a small smile growing on my face as a few people were messing around on various instruments. Electric guitars lined one wall and an entire room dedicated to acoustic guitars and ukuleles. Another section was dedicated to pianos and keyboards which is where I immediately strolled to.

Instantly my eyes scanned the price tags before looking at the item itself. The cheapest one is priced at $200. I let out a deep exhale before inspecting it and checking the specs. It came with a bench and I was able to connect it to my laptop which would help. Sitting on the bench I bit my cheek, getting way too excited with the thought of having this situated in my apartment.

"Can I help you with anything?" A man asked as he walked up to me.

"Yeah," I cleared my throat, "I'd like to purchase this keyboard."

"Of course, have you checked out the other ones? This is our lowest grade in stock, the others have many more-"

"No," I shook my head, interrupting him. "I-I like this one," I stuttered out. I knew he was just attempting to make me spend more dollars than necessary.

"For sure ma'am. I'll grab you one from the back," he smiled kindly before walking away.

My hands automatically landed on the white and black keys. I only know fairly simple songs so far but because my schedule is completely clear, I am determined to learn more. I smiled to myself as I saw the man carrying out a fairly large box over his head. My smile dropped as I realized I wouldn't be strong enough to carry that box five blocks over to my apartment.

I walked to the register where he set the box down. My hands were shaky and nervous, why am I always so fucking nervous?

"How will you be paying? The total after-tax is $220."

"Umm, I don't know how I will be able to-ugh," I took a moment to take a deep breath as my right hand instinctively reached for my left wrist. "I live 5 blocks away and don't have a car."

"That's alright, we can get it delivered to you in a few hours," his friendly smile wiped away my fears. "We just need you to fill out this form with your address, name, and phone number. The delivery will cost but not much since you live close," he explained as he handed me a paper and pen.

I nodded my head before beginning to fill out the form. Once it was finished I was down an extra $256 in my bank account. At this point, I'm not worried but I won't be able to spend unnecessary money until I find a job.

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Walking down the busy streets, a slight buzz of excitement ran through my body. Getting a new instrument is always thrilling but knowing you paid for it with your own hard-earned cash is even more fulfilling.

I felt a vibration in my back pocket causing me to jump before I realized it was just my phone. It was an unknown number so I didn't bother answering it, pocketing my phone as I continued to walk. It was a warm day, but not too hot. I know the summers here can get insanely hot, something I'm not used to since growing up in Aspin, Colorado.

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A/N: Who was the call from??👀

Most of you said short chapters, though sometimes it's impossible to shorten a chapter. For now, I don't have a problem making them a little shorter, but in the future, I can't always promise that.