Family Troubles || Redlyn

Don't Keep Avoiding Me

Big Red's POV

I held Ashlyn's hand and we returned to our seats. I glanced around the table at everyone talking, my eyes falling on Madeline and EJ for far too long. Why did he keep inviting her everywhere? Could he not tell how annoying she was?

I think the others were all discussing Ashlyn and I's response to their concern about her. It was sweet they cared, but I knew Ashlyn didn't want to talk about it, and I knew them asking her to was getting on her nerves.

"Why do you keep hanging out with us all of the sudden?" I asked Madeline as we drove home from school.

"Eh, I don't know." She shrugged. I was pretty sure that was not true.

"Really? Because you kept turning down any offer to hang out with us before. Plus, don't you hate, like, all of us?"

"I mean, some of you are obnoxious a lot of the time—"

"Thanks, Madeline."

"Whatever. It's a personal opinion. As I was saying, some of you are annoying. EJ's pretty cool."

"Yeah, I guess..." I looked at her then shook my head. "You aren't... attracted to him or anything, right?"

"Would it matter?"

"Um... no." Not to her, at least. "So is that a yes?" I pulled into the driveway and she went inside without another word. Assuming that's a yes, this could get awkward.

I called Ashlyn. It had become normal for me to check in on her from time to time. I hadn't seen her since lunch, besides briefly before driving home, so it felt like the right time.

"What's up?" Ashlyn asked me after picking up.

"How are ya?"

"I'm pretty good." She replied. "You?"

"Good." We continued talking for awhile.

For the rest of the week, Madeline continued eating with us, giving me stronger suspicions she had a crush on EJ. I ignored it, talking to everyone else. When Saturday came, Madeline left to go out with a friend, but the way she said it was... weird.

Ashlyn was still avoiding talking about her parents with anyone. It seemed like they may've made up, because Ashlyn looked like she was doing well. This was, in writing, great. But the next Monday she was acting odd again, and she wouldn't talk to me about it. She would barely talk to anyone at all.

By the end of the day, I was extremely worried about Ashlyn. I'd try to talk to her, and she would just make an excuse to leave. Even if I just said hi, she'd leave. I knew something had to be wrong, because anyone who didn't know her would just think she was being rude.

"Ashlyn!" It was the end of the school day, and she had already started walking home. "Wait up!"

"I've got to be home, I've got a thing!" She called over her shoulder, not slowing down. I ran after her.

"You know we can talk—" I had now caught up to her.

"Yeah, of course." She walked faster, and I matched her pace. "I'm just busy." She lied.

"All day? Including at lunch?"

"Uh, yeah. It's a busy day."

"Ash." I stopped walking, and she hesitantly stopped as well. "I know something's wrong, please don't keep avoiding me."

"I'm not. Nothing— nothing's wrong, I told you. I'm busy." Ashlyn started walking again, so I did too.

"I don't want to push anything out of you." I explained. "But yes, you are avoiding me. You're avoiding everyone. What's going on?"

"Biggie— Big Red, please. I don't want to talk."

"You don't have to talk about whatever's bothering you, I just... want you to talk to me. Please." We were now considerably far away from the school.

"I- I..." Ashlyn shook her head, and as I watched I realized she had some tears welling in her eyes. "No. Relationships, of basically any kind, they... they aren't meant to last. Why spend time on something when it's bound to fail and—" Ashlyn gulped, blinking back tears. "And when growing close to someone will just break your heart when they leave you. No matter how close you seem or how safe you feel with them or how much you love them and being with them." Ashlyn was crying, though I could see her trying to force herself not to, which only made me feel worse for her. "Even if the safest place is wherever they are and they're the only one who knows how to comfort you and—" She cut herself off, shaking her head. "That's besides the point. I don't want to date just to date."

"We... we aren't..." I stood in shock of what Ashlyn had said, thinking over every sentence.

"You might love me now but that won't last. Plenty of people think they're in love. For... for years. Then they realize they just aren't right for each other."

"But... Ashlyn... you like our relationship, don't you?"

"Of course. I love it. That's the problem." Ashlyn said. I was trying to put pieces together of what she was saying.

"How is that a problem?"

"I keep saying it. You're gonna end it someday, and I can't bear to get closer to you just to get my heart broken!"

"I'm not going to end anything!" I protested.

"That's what everyone says, and it's what everyone thinks, so they carry on with their lives. Then one day, 'oops, guess we aren't meant to be, let's go break the news to our daughter!'"

My jaw dropped slightly. "Your parents. This is about them."

"I... I mean... a little." Ashlyn admitted. I looked around, luckily spotting a bench. I grabbed Ashlyn's hand and sat down, making her sit next to me.

"Is anything... official, with your parents?" I asked. Clearly from Ashlyn's words she didn't really want to break up, but it still felt comforting when she buried her face in my shoulder. It would've been nicer if she wasn't practically sobbing.