Family Troubles || Redlyn

It Takes Time

Big Red's POV

It was 9 o'clock when I heard a knock on my front door. My parents had to get up early in the morning, so I was the only one awake. Sighing because it probably didn't matter, I walked to the door. Maybe it was Ricky or something.

"Oh." I said when I opened the door.

"Sorry. And hi." Ashlyn said quietly.

"Come on in?" I was confused, and it showed. She nodded and we walked in. We both stood there silently, until I finally broke the silence. "So... why are you here? I'm not complaining whatsoever, you've just made it really clear we're going to follow your parents rules. Which I'm fine with following, as much as I hate it."

"My dad's in town."

"Okay." I nodded.

"I brought you up."

"How'd it go?"

"It was going alright for a minute, but then they and their divorce and everything just kinda... got to me. And so I kinda freaked out and... sorta shouted. And, I... they... I don't think tonight is the night we get back together. And I think that, this time, that's my fault." She responded, refusing to meet my eyes. "I couldn't keep it together, and I... I snapped and it probably effected our relationship and so I'm... I'm really, really, truly sorry." She glanced and made eye contact with me for a quick second."

"O- Oh." I stuttered. I couldn't manage anything else; I wasn't sure why. It's not like I hadn't had news like this before.

"I don't even think you can be mad at my parents this time." She seemed to be stopping, but I had no reply. "I don't... I don't know why I'm here, I just needed to be somewhere else and tell you— I'll go." She forced a small, sad smile. I just kept emotionlessly staring at her. "Um... see you... sometime." She was at the door by the time I finally snapped out of the odd trace I was in.

"Wait, Ashlyn!" I ran over to her, filling in the few feet between us. "Sorry, I got overwhelmed, it was a lot to comprehend. And, um... do you want to stay a little longer? Sit down? I totally get it if that would complicate things with your parents, but..."

"No, yeah, I can sit." She whispered. We silently walked to the couch and sat down. I stayed a good foot from Ashlyn, not used to being as close to her anymore. If this was a normal occasion, despite the time apart, I would have cuddled with her, but neither of us knew what to do, until Ashlyn finally made eye contact with me again. "I... I don't even know why you're waiting at this point. Just move on. I'll have to accept it, and you'll be happier."

"Don't... don't tell me you actually want me to. Don't." I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes, blocking me from seeing the tears in hers.

"You'd be happier."

"You really believe that?" I asked. It hardly came out.

"I..."

"I'm the worst boyfriend ever." I put my head in my hands.

"No, I'm just causing you to wait and wait and help me and I just— I don't want to put you through that." She said. "I'm the worst girlfriend, it isn't you."

"But you don't trust how much I love you. You... if you possibly think I want to move on, or that I can— Ash. Really?"

"I don't know! I don't know anything." She followed my actions, burying her face in her hands. I looked over at her, gently scooting next to her. I put my hand on her back and rubbed it.

"Baby... it honestly... it scares me you don't think I love you."

"No, I know you do. I really do. It's more complicated than that. I know you love me, I know I deserve love— but right now I don't... deserve you. I take out everything on you. You have to wait for me. We haven't even been able to talk, besides while breaking rules, and I... I can't force you to do this anymore."

"Look at me, Ashlyn Moon." I gently lifted her chin out of her head, making her look at me, and brushed a hair out of her face. "I absolutely hate to say it, but you're sounding like your parents. That's absolutely not for my own good, and it's not for your own good."

"I know..."

"Do you?"

"I told you, I don't know anything." She laid her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you." I hugged her tightly. "It's not much of your fault, honestly, but I forgive you." I felt tears start roll onto my shoulder.

"I do need you, Big Red. And I really, really love you. I'm just scared I'll start getting clingy because of everything going on. My mom's gonna have her and my dad's kid soon enough. They can't be in each other's presence yet. I can't date you, and if we ever can, I think I'm gonna become the absolute worst. I don't want to become that person."

"Some people do, Ash. But come on, we communicate the best we can. You won't be awful, and... you've talked about it, what's stopping you from therapy?"

"My parents don't think it'll do anything." She sniffled. I hugged her a little tighter.

"Okay, look, you 100% can trust I want to be with you. I promise. But right now, I want you to stop trying to convince your parents for us to date and... convince them to get you in therapy or something." I knew I had to say it, but it felt so wrong.

"But I love you!" She cried.

"It's not gonna help if you're asking for 2 things at once, and your mental health is the most important thing." I kissed her forehead. "I love you too."

"But why can't I be fine? I wanna date you and I don't wanna be stressed about my parents and basically everything." She mumbled.

"And you won't be, but that takes time."

"I don't want it to."

"I don't want it to either, baby, but it has to. Please, promise me you'll do that?"

"I..."

"Come on." I said, readjusting so she was in my lap. "If not for you, for me?"

"I guess... but this doesn't even help you. It puts back the time we can date."

"But I want you happy, and I want you healthy. I promise I love you though."

"Is this a break up?" She said. It was barely audible.

"We aren't even together."

"But... we Kinda are... we just can't see each other..."

"Y- Yeah." I nodded. "That's true. But, um, no... it's not a break up. It's just... me changing from telling you to ask your parents about us to about therapy. And it'll set things back a little as far as us goes, but I promise it's worth it, and I promise I'll wait. I can't not wait. I love you too much."

"Okay, fine, but... can you just hold me for awhile?" She asked, looking up at me with her tear stained face and teary eyes. I was crying too, but not nearly as much as Ashlyn.

"Of course."

A/N: well... this was long