Villain, D. Malfoy

43. The Terrors of Silence

Emerald:

It's true what they say, only the great die young. And to think it could have been me, it should have been me. Luna didn't deserve this, any of it. Her soul was like no other. She was incandescently kind. Judgment is such a common concept, especially between us teenagers.

But she, she never judged anyone. She was the one individual who took me in when I was new at Hogwarts, who never cared about my title or my House. She was just herself with me.

Hell, if we could redo everything again, I would have told her to leave our dorm that night. I would have taken her place, over and over again, for years. But, sometimes, the universe outperforms our inventions and our demands. They say everything happens for a reason, but I'm undoubtedly assured I will never find a valid basis for this.

And Chance, he wanted to accuse himself. How could he? He can't control the viciousness of others. If we could control others' malignity, we would have a classic world in our hands, a hand-crafted utopia. But dismally, life doesn't work out that way. In certainty, life is ruthless, and it is unstable, unpredictable, and merciless. And at times, it can take our period of growth, our metamorphosis and make us believe we are purposeless through tortuous moral turbulence.

Losing a friend is a strange type of hurt because your brain doesn't really process it. And if it does, it's quickly forgetting. It's the type of torture where you can't look beside you any more to freely say those thoughts to that person.

The type of discomfort where you can't stay up in your dormitory talking to them because their bed is now abandoned. If I quickly find myself laughing at something she would have found amusing, I think of telling her later that night but instantly remember I can't do that any longer.

My stomach churns as I cover my mouth once again, "I fucking hate this school." My voice was barely audible, but that's okay because the only person I would have told that to isn't physically here anymore.

If it hadn't been for my mother who forced me to go to Hogwarts; I wouldn't have met Pansy, I wouldn't have met Ambrose, and they wouldn't have disliked me, and they wouldn't have tried to kill me, and Luna wouldn't have been accidentally taken in the process. I'm so sorry, Luna.

'But only then you wouldn't have met Draco'

My consciousness reminds me of my single source of comfort.

Draco, I think to myself. My chest starts to feel flushed, and my bones scream something. 'Go find him.' I hear. I couldn't tell if it was a tangible voice, my spirits, a gut reaction, or my imagination. But whoever that voice belonged to, I followed their instructions. I knew exactly where he was.

The halls were dim and freezing. My feet kept pacing quicker and quicker once I realized the Astronomy Tower wasn't that close to Draco's dorm, the room I stayed to avoid facing the ache in my own dormitory.

Before I knew it, I found myself jogging. My face fought with the tiny rays that came penetrating the multi-shaped stained glass. I regain my breath when my feet stop running at the view in front of me.

"What took you so long, son?" A long-haired blonde stood in front of the other one. One of them held a cane, but they were both dressed in all black. The voices were recognizable.

"It doesn't matter; I'm here now. Isn't that what you always wanted from me?"

"Oh, Draco. I've always expected everything from you. This was just one small favor out of a hundred others."

"I'm here." That was all he could say, bowing his head, his voice cracking. His fingertips kept playing with the hem of his suite.

"I'm glad you could come to your senses. It's imperative I teach you about loyalty and never about love. You know I never fancied her anyway." Lucius hit his cane against the raw concrete.

His father didn't have to say my name for me to know he was referring to me. I wanted to jump in, interrupt, and confront that wicked man, but my life was also on the line. Draco's choice of silence made my throat burn, but I knew he couldn't say anything. If he ever defended me in front of his family, we would both be done for. But his face... remained the same. He didn't clench his jaw, his Adam's apple never moved, he looked fine. He seemed completely unbothered by his comment.

"I'm ready." That was all he said again. His stance looked robotic almost; like he was being told what to say, or he was secretly being held at gunpoint, or like his thoughts were being programmed by a second person or a machine. His voice monotone, his shoulders set back.

"You know what to do. Bring her here on Saturday at dusk, and the rest is in your hands." Lucius delivers him a sword, his, I presume. The metal glistened against the moonlight, almost hinting at the peak of light to where I was hiding, making me flinch back.

I knew Draco was just saying this to make his dad content. He would never actually go through with any plan. We spoke about it; he reassured me I was his priority. I didn't have to worry about anything. Isn't Lucius all talk, anyway?

Draco stood there as if he was waiting for some type of appraisal. His chin dipped to his chest as his gaze looked around in confusion. I begged for Lucius to leave already, so I could run and give this boy the greatest hug. He looked like he needed it.

His dad said nothing in return; he just turned and disappeared. When there was no more sign of him, I sprinted over to Draco. He pressed his hand to his abdomen and let out a soft sob. "Draco," I whispered, placing my hand over his back. "Don't fucking touch me," He flinched, but once he turned and saw it was me, his eyes relaxed, and his creased eyebrows returned to normal.

"It's isn't true, is it?" I parted my lips, waiting for him to say no, and grin, and kiss me, and tell me we were going to be fine, and that we were going to protect each other. I was waiting for some sort of confirmation that we were going to have a forever and always and that nothing was going to harm us or stand in our way any longer. But nothing happened. The boy remained speechless. And it was this silence that terrified me the most.