A Soulmate's Love

Chapter 42 - The Rest of my days and Beyond

*WARNING: DESCRIPTION OF RAPE IN THIS CHAPTER

This morning I awoke once again from a nightmare, however, this one was not as much I was feeling the rape but I was watching it, and as I washed my face in ice-cold water, the fading images were enough to make me not want to leave my dorm.

"Althea babe, you coming down?" Elise called out from our room.

I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the forming lump. "No, you go, I'll go to the kitchens later!" Since it was Saturday and we didn't have classes, she shouted 'ok!' before going to breakfast with the group.

I crawled back into my bed, feeling the same thing I had felt after he had invaded me - Empty, disgusting, and profoundly, not hurt, useless. I stayed curled up in a ball for who knows how long, not being able to move from the position as vivid memories continued lapsing in my mind.

I hadn't even realized that three hours had passed, and decided to walk in the courtyard to try to distract myself. As I walked to the bushes of white roses that I loved so, I picked one and idly fiddled with it in my hands, now going over to the more isolated gardens. I began thinking of things that made me happy, but everything led me back to the dark place that I had desperately tried to close off. I could still feel his skin on mine, the pain of the knife he used when I didn't submit, the smell of his cologne.

"Love?" I heard that all too familiar voice from behind me. I turned around quickly, our eyes locking. I hadn't even realized that my eyes were brimming with tears when my vision blurred, and out of instinct I looked away and recomposed myself.

We were both at a loss for words - Him with a look of sadness and shock written all over his features, and me trying to neutralize mine. I was looking anywhere but at him, afraid of how I might just break at any given moment. I could feel my pulse speeding up and my fisted hands tighten.

"Alth-"

"I- I can't be here," I muttered, feeling overwhelmed and claustrophobic. "I have to go." I began walking back to the grounds briskly, trying to escape from something, anything. I could feel the fabric of my shirt on my skin, my hair on the back of my neck, I could hear first years talking, and sense the atmosphere thickening as I kept on walking. I finally reached my dorm with George close on my heels, and I opened the door and began pacing back and forth, forgetting his presence entirely.

I was suddenly stopped by a wall, a wall which I knew to be George. I could feel my knees grow weaker but I maintained my composure, saw that tears were pricking my eyes but I wouldn't let them fall, and I so badly wanted to fall into his arms and remain in their warmth, but I stopped myself. I wasn't a victim. I didn't need saving. And most of all, I wouldn't just break down for once I did, I didn't know when I would stop. So, I stood there, struggling against his grip on my hips, desperately wanting this day to end.

He pulled me into his arms, holding me, without saying a word. I wasn't fighting him, instead, succumbing to the affection that I wasn't used to. "I'm so sorry darling." He whispered, and I could hear the emotion evident in his voice. "I am so sorry." He repeated, quieter this time. I tried to speak but no words sounded, resorting to simply nodding. He did the best thing he could do at that moment, and I found myself giving in completely.

I wasn't used to this, to this type of love, and it left me speechless. How could his touch be the one I never knew I needed? It felt like home, being buried in his arms felt like home.

George's Perspective

I had watched her all of yesterday and noticed how whenever she paused or was alone, she was consumed by something. I just wanted her pain to stop, I couldn't bear watching her suffer when I couldn't do anything.