Only You

61

"So what happens now?" Michael asked

"He will be in the community jail until the hearing where his sentence will be decided"

"Can we still move to Houston?" I asked

"Yes you can, you just have to be back for the hearing" Our lawyer responded, it had only been a day since the incident and I had still been feeling a little shaken from it all

"That sounds doable" I responded "How long until we know when the hearing will be?"

"Well these things can take a while so I can't give you an exact day, but hopefully it isn't longer than a month"

"We'll hear about the date in a month or the actual hearing will be in a month?" Michael chimed in

"You'll hear from me in a month, the hearing itself will be further out than a month"

"How much further?" I asked

"Well these things are usually scheduled out for years, meaning the hearings that are happening this week were scheduled a year or more ago"

"So it could be a year until the hearing?" The whole justice system process is so difficult

"Unfortunately yes"

"And Jake will remain in jail regardless?"

"Yes he will"

It feels relieving that he will be detained again, the first time he was in jail was the most relaxing time. Just to know that I don't have to look over my shoulder constantly in fear that he could be around is so liberating.

"Well thank you for your help Mister Vernon, we'll wait to hear from you" Michael spoke up, dismissing our lawyer 

"How are you feeling?" Jess sat on the couch with me, while the guys went to get food. At first we spoke of everything besides Jake but I knew it would inevitably come up

"Still a little shaken up, but otherwise I'm fine" 

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked 

"I don't even know where to start" I admitted, to be quite frank I have no clue how I truly even feel

"Lets start by how you felt when you saw him" she eased into the conversation, she's always been like a therapist for me 

"Well I was facing the cupboards, so I didn't see him right away" as I spoke it all replayed in my mind like a movie "but I felt someone else here, as weird as that sounds; so before I even turned around and saw him I knew he was there" I paused to take a deep breath

"At first I felt scared, but by the time I turned around I felt numb"

"what do you mean?"

"Like I felt no emotion, I knew I was here alone with him and I knew there wasn't really anything I could to do prevent the inevitable. So I felt like in that moment I just accepted that I was screwed and there was nothing that I could do to save myself" 

amidst our silence the sound of keys dangling was heard, announcing that the guys had gotten back with the food. 

"After you saw him did you feel anything besides the numbness?" Jess asked as the front door swung open behind her

"honestly it was a huge mixture of emotions" the guys walked over to us with the food and set it down on the coffee table in front of us, since our dining table has already been taken to the house 

"What are you guys talking about?" Michael asked 

"Just trying to get her to express her emotions, I don't want her to bottle them in and cause more trauma" Jess spoke up 

"That's a good idea" he sat next to me "Are you okay to talk about it yet?" he asked

"I think so, better now than later" I admitted, I took a deep breath before deciding to continue "I was just so confused, and scared; I kept trying to find a way out of the situation but I couldn't figure it out. It wasn't until Mikey called that I felt a glimmer of hope, so I knew I needed to be smart and not make it known that it was him or else Jake would have taken me then and there"

"You did good, not everyone would think on their toes like that" Trey added 

"I was so scared that he would check who called, but luckily he didn't. If it wasn't for that call I don't know what would have happened" my eyes began to burn as they started to water "and I don't even want to think about it"

before I knew it the three of them engulfed me in a big group hug, reminding me that I'm not alone and that I have no reason to be scared anymore. These past few months have been complete torture, not knowing what was going to happen to me, or where Jake was watching me from. 

Normally when you leave a relationship you are able to leave everything in the past and move forward, but that wasn't an option for me. I spent 3 years with that man, if I could even call him that, and I thought that I knew him from head to toe; I never would have expected to see his true colors this way and that they would be so dark. 

I tried, I tried showing him that we weren't meant to be together. Within those 3 years that we were together I tried telling him how I felt, I tried telling him that I wasn't happy with the way he treated me but no matter what he wouldn't change. He would turn everything around on me and make me the bad guy. I tried making it work until finally I couldn't anymore

But how do you convince someone, who is mentally unstable, that there is more to life than a relationship