Alren: Scared Of Happy

Chapter 30

Another one ;) Again, Spotify playlist is reccomended especially for this chapter. As these songs heavily infulenced this chapter.  Last two songs are in this chapter.

Enjoy ;)

Demi looks at me with a knowing look and I roll my eyes at her as I sit back in the booth. Not long after my arrival, Lauren appears with her precious water bottle. She takes a huge sip of it before tossing it away and sitting back down, stumbling a little. I roll my eyes at her and lay my head on Demi's shoulder. She puts her hand in mine and gives it a gentle squeeze making sure I'm okay. I squeeze back as a way of saying yes. Camila seems oblivious to Lauren's drinking. The poor girl is gonna get her heart broken by this. We order and I make small talk with Camila as Lauren just stares at me. Her sunglasses are on but I can feel those eyes on me. I look up at Demi and she looks down at me and before I know it she's kissing me quickly before pulling away and putting her arm around the booth behind me. I blink a little stunned. I wasn't expecting that. Demi's lips are soft. But Lauren's are softer. I shake my head. Damn it Ally. Stop thinking about Lauren. But god are her lips soft and -

"You guys are so cute" Camila's voice cuts through my thoughts. I blink again and smile softly at her. "So are you two." I say sincerely. I'm sure our old fans are having a fit over them. Lauren scoffs and puts an arm around Camila. "Of course we are, we're Camren. Everyone loves us." She says with an attitude. My smile disappears. Why does she have to be such a bitch? Camila smacks her on the chest again and I can barely see Lauren roll her eyes. Lauren leans in and kisses Camila's cheek and whispers in her ear. Camila smiles and turns to peck her lips. My heart shatters watching their lips touch. This is so painful. How can I sit here and watch someone I love, love someone else? Wait, love? I thought I stopped loving people a long time ago?

No you idiot. You've just been pushing it all away with drugs.

Fuck off subconsious no one asked you.

"Hey Lauren is performing at a club tonight, you guys should come." Camila says smiling at Lauren as Lauren just looks at her. She's probably not happy about that. "I don't know" I say and before I could get anything else out Demi jumps in, "We'll be there" she says smiling. I look at her and squint. Okay. What is she up to now? She's up to something. She never wants to go anywhere unless it's a party she's hosting. I don't like this.

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"Why did we agree to go tonight?" I ask Demi as we get ready for the night. "Because you and Lauren got shit to deal with. Stop running away from your problems Ally. Drugs aren't the answer trust me." She says with a sigh. I know she's right. But I don't know how to deal with anything sober. I'm a mess of all emotions and no confidence. I'm a shell of what I could be. Drugs make me feel more alive. If I could somehow get that feeling while sober I would grab at it in a heartbeat. But it just doesn't seem to exist for me. I sigh. Maybe I really should look into some help. I'm terrified to do that. I shake my head to rid my thoughts and continue to get dressed into my skin tight black dress. Scars still litter my body but they are less noticeable as the years go on. I haven't thought about cutting since I picked up drugs so there's that too. Demi decided to keep it simple with a tight crop top and baggy jeans. I put my heels on as she comes down the stairs.

"Damn Ally, you clean up nice!" She says looking me up and down. I smile at the confidence boost I feel as she says that. "So do you, like always." I say back as I give her a once over. She smiles and kisses my head. "Come on. No drugs tonight. Just regular fun, okay?" She says softly. I sigh and nod. "I'll do it for you but I can't promise that I won't be back at it when we get home." I tell her. She nods. "One step at a time." She says as she hugs me.