Alren: Scared Of Happy

Chapter 16

Enjoy😁

I’m awoken by an obnoxious continuous beeping sound. I’m awake but I can’t open my eyes. I strain my ears to try and hear anything else besides the dumb beeping. I hear people talking quietly, I can’t pinpoint their voices. Suddenly the voices are getting closer. There’s a total of three voices, two I cannot figure out. But I know that one voice. I know that rasp anywhere. It’s her. She’s here. She’s actually here. But how? She’s suppose to be in Miami. That’s when it suddenly hits me. She saved me. She shot Brandon. I’m in the hospital. I’m safe because of her. I fight to try and open my eyes, I need to see her. I need to see her eyes. I need to see her beautiful face and adorable widows peak. I need her. I struggle for a few more minutes and within those minutes she’s next to me, holding my hand, Oh god. Her hand in mine just feels so perfect. Like her hand was made for mine. Finally I pry my eyelids open to only immediately close them again due to the blinding light. I furrow my brows and slowly open my eyes again. I turn my head and once my eyes finally adjust to the light I’m immediately greeted with Emerald eyes staring back into my brown ones. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and feel tears swell up in my eyes. She sits on the edge of her seat and squeezes my hand as she brings up her free hand to my face. She wipes away the tears that have fallen out of my eyes and leans forward slowly. My breath hitches. Is she going to kiss me? I haven’t felt those soft plump lips on my own since tour. I miss the way her lips and mine molded perfectly together. I miss how she gripped the back of my neck holding me in place as she kissed me. Oh how I miss her touch. She leans in closer. Oh god please kiss me. I need to feel her lips on mine again. She’s inches away from my face now. God please just kiss me already. Our noses brush as at the last second she leans up and presses her lips against my forehead. Of course she wasn’t going to kiss me. What was I thinking. She doesn’t like me like that. I close my eyes at the feel of her lips on my skin. God I miss those lips so much. She pulls away slowly and I reach out with my free hand and cup her cheek. She leans into my touch which makes me smile. She turns her head in my palm and kisses the inside of my palm before turning her head back so my hand caresses her cheek again. She has that award winning smile on her face and it makes me smile at her. She closes her eyes as she loses herself to the touch of my thumb stroking over her perfectly sculptured cheek bone. I squeeze her hand making her open her eyes again to stare at me. “Come here.” I whisper softly. She leans forward again and I move my face closer to hers. We’re inches apart from kissing. God I want to kiss her. But I don’t know how she’ll react. I move closer hearing her breath hitch and I turn my head at the last second kissing the corner of her mouth. Her lips quirk up a little and she strokes her thumb on top of my hand.

“How are you feeling?” She asks softly. I give her a small smile. She brings our joined hands up to her lips and kisses the top of my hand. “I’m going to go get you some water and the doctor to talk about what’s going on okay? I’ll be right back.” She says softly and kisses my hand again as I nod to her. She releases my hand and stands up walking out of the room. I lay there in bed lost in thought about Lauren. God I just can’t get enough of her, She’s addicting. She’s my drug, my high, my love. I need her. Even if she doesn’t need me. I need her. I need her to survive. She’s my rock, my strength, what keeps me still breathing on this cruel Earth. She’s my reason, The reason I never had the courage to kill myself. She’s what gives me energy to keep living my life everyday. Without her? Without her I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be Ally Brooke ⅕ of Fifth Harmony. I would be no one. I wouldn’t have changed so many lives. I wouldn’t be doing what I love to do. She’s what convinced me to not back out when we were formed on X-Factor. It was the first day all us girls met each other for the first time. I was terrified. I didn’t think I had what it took to be apart of this group or to even sing. I didn’t want to be the reason the other girls didn’t get to live out their dreams. Lauren immediately saw right through me. She saw my inner struggle and pulled me away from the other girls to talk. It was the first time I got a really good look at Lauren. Her slightly flushed face from crying with joy to have a second chance, her green eyes a lighter shade, her light brown hair, the concern look on her face. She genuinely cared for me and she didn’t even know me yet. I told her what was going through my head and starting crying while telling her. She immediately pulled me into her arms and for the first time in my life I felt safe. I felt wanted, cared for, loved. She told me that I can do this, that I won’t be alone during the worst because I had her and the other girls. She told me that she’ll be there every step of the way. And she was. She still is. I fell in love with Lauren Jauregui on that day. The first day I actually met her and I already fell in love with her. I didn’t know it back then, but I certainly know it now. I’m madly in love with Lauren and nothing will ever be able to change that. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way about me. I was brought out of my thoughts at the feel of her hand sliding back into mine. 

I look up at her and see her smiling softly and holding a cup of water in her hand. I sit up slightly and take the water from her downing the water almost instantly. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was until the water hit my tongue. She takes the now empty cup from me and places it on the table. She sits back down in the chair next to my bed and squeezes my hand softly making me look into her captivating green eyes. “Now, how are you feeling?” She asks smiling softly at me as her thumb strokes my hand. I relax from her touch. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck than a train.” I say looking at her. She laughs and my heart flutters. Her laugh is one of my favorite sounds in the world. I instantly smile and just stare at her lovingly. Her laughter dies down and she’s staring back at me with such a softness in her eyes my heart clenches. Our staring contest is broken by the doctor walking into the room. We both look over at her. She smiles softly as she stares at Lauren and I’s joined hands before looking at me. “I’m sure you’re confused on what happened and why it happened.” She says softly. I nod my head squeezing Lauren’s hand worried.

“You had a seizure due to not eating a lot recently, this can cause some major issues with your organs if you don’t start eating more.” She says. My heart drops. That’s when I realize. My parents didn’t want Brandon to kill me, that’s why when he beaten me it was only enough to make me unconscious. They were slowly starving me. Slowly killing me. They wanted me to suffer. Suffer because I was in love with a girl. My stomach turned at the thought. I felt all the color leave my face. Then there was nothing but muffled voices of the doctor and Lauren yelling to get my attention. Then everything was black.

Decided to write since I can't sleep cause I'm nervous as hell for later today.
I'm seeing my girlfriend for the first time today so I wrote something cute😁

So a lot of Ally's thoughts and some cute stuff.
Don't get used to it😏

Anyways!
What did you think?

Comment!

Stay Beautiful and Strong✊

Love y'all❤

-Kisses Taylor