Alren: Scared Of Happy

Chapter 35

SURPRISE! YOU'RE IN FOR A TREAT HERE ;)

Song used in chapter: In My Blood By Shawn Mendes

Enjoy ;)

Lauren's POV

They've been back there with Ally for a few hours now and I can't stop this anxiety attack. She has to be okay. I can't live without her. I've been sitting with my head in my hands, leg shaking and heavy breathing ever since we got here. The girls have all tried to get me to calm down or eat something and I refuse it all. I won't do anything till I know she's alive. I hear the door open and I immediately shoot up and walk towards the person that just came out the door. "Where is she? Is She okay? Is She alive?" I frantically ask the nurse. The nurse steps back from me startled and takes a second. "For Ally Hernandez?" she asks. I roll my eyes and bite my comment back. "Yes, is she okay?" I ask again. She sighs and my heart starts to drop. Please, please, please be okay.

"We lost her -" I start sobbing before she can even finish. She puts a hand on my arm to gain my attention again and I try to compose myself. "We lost her for a few minutes but we did a blood fusion and she's okay. She's in a medically induced coma to give her some time to heal but she will be okay" She says with a small smile. I almost fall to my knees but Dinah catches me as relief washes over me. She's okay. She's going to be okay. I feel like I can breathe again. "Can we see her?" Dinah asks, helping me back on my feet. The nurse nods and shows us the way. I find my footing and follow hastily behind her. We walk into the room and my heart shatters looking at her hooked up to so many machines, her arms all bandaged up. I push past the nurse and walk to her side, taking her hand into mine as I sit down. I bring her hand up and bring it to my lips, pressing a soft kiss to her small cold hand. I bite back a sob as I look at her face. She looks so peaceful. I think that's the most relaxed I've seen her in a long time and that breaks my heart all over again. The nurse goes to her other side and checks her vitals, I look up at her. "How long will she be like this?" I ask softly. The nurse looks at me and gives me a small smile.

"It could be hours, days, maybe even weeks. It's all up to her." She says finishing her checklist on her clipboard. I feel my heart drop to my stomach at the thought of her not coming back to us for weeks. "C-Can she hear us?" I ask looking away from the nurse back at my beautiful girl. "It's believed that people in a coma can hear what's going on around them. If you excuse me I need to check other patients." She says before she offers another sad smile and leaves the room. I look back at Ally, machines helping her breathe, she looks so lifeless but full of life at the same time. I want to speak to her but I don't even know where to start. This is all my fault. I could've stopped this. But I had to be a stubborn idiot. I never should've let Lucy near me again. I knew it was going to cause nothing but trouble. But I was hurt. Ally kissed Camila. She intentionally did something to hurt me. How was I supposed to react? I knew getting drunk with Lucy after finding that out was a bad idea. But I did it anyway and I'll never forgive myself for it. I don't know how to even tell Ally about it. Should I even tell her? Of course I should. She deserves the truth. But will it cost me her forever? I sure hope not. But I have to prepare myself for that to happen. I run my fingers over the tattoo on my arm looking down at it. I got this as a symbol of my love for Ally. It's silly but I love it so much. "Our Love Story Will Never End" surrounding a heart with A + L inside of it. It's so cliché but my love for Ally will never die. She's my soulmate. My one true love.

"I'm so sorry Ally. I don't deserve you in the slightest. I took your love for granted. I love you so much and I don't want to lose you. You deserve so much more than me. This is all my fault. I hope you know how sorry I am." I choke on a sob as I kiss her hand again. I can't do this. I feel like I can't breathe. I get up quickly looking down at her peaceful self and start to sob. I rushed out of the room and into the hall. How am I supposed to tell her what happened between Lucy and I? It will crush her and cause more relapses. I shake my head. I'm being a hypocrite. I relapsed with my drinking but getting drunk with her. God I hate myself so much. I was so low and off my bipolar meds that I just did it without thinking. I didn't care about the consequences. "Lauren? Is everything okay?" I hear a voice ask me. I look up and find brown eyes staring back at me. They are nothing like Ally's. Hers are more like a milk chocolate color while the ones I'm staring into have more of a dark tone to them. I take a deep breath and look over her concerned face. I feel anger bubble inside me the longer I look at it. I shake my head again to get rid of the anger. No. This is my fault. Lucy kissed me which caused all this.