The Spymaster's Assassin (An ACoTaR Fanfic)

Chapter 45

The next week was spent going over several things, namely Hybern, Spring, Lucien, and Feyre's sisters. I had met Nesta and Elain and neither seemed to be pleased to be in the land of the Fae. Nesta was hard to get along with, and would often snap at me or anyone else that tried to talk to them.

Elain, however, was silent. She spoke softly and rarely and spent her time staring off into space with a blank expression. I wanted to try and crack her shell, but Nesta wouldn't let me near her, so I decided to start with one challenge at a time.

I sat in the library, reading, when she came into the room, took one look at me, and turned to leave. "Don't leave on my account." I called without looking up from the book. "I'm not scary, just pregnant."

She turned to face me. "You are Fae."

"Illyrian." I corrected. "And so are you, now."

Nesta wrinkled her nose at me. "Not by choice."
She snarled. "And you didn't try to stop it, either. You let it happen."

"It was going to happen even if I tried to stop it." I said and set the book down. "So, now that this is your life, what will you do with it, Nesta?"

"I wouldn't expect you to understand. You weren't Made. You were born that way."

"You're right. I will never understand your situation, as you will never understand mine." I tilted my head to the side, then said, "Feyre told me about you and Elain. We were prisoners together in neighboring cells Under the Mountain. She told me about both of you and how much she wished to see you again. You are both very important to her."

"If this is your way to get me to like you, Adrianna, it won't work." She sneered, back to me as she looked for her own book to read.

I shrugged and crossed a leg. "I couldn't care less what you thought of me, Nesta. But your sister, she isn't at fault for this either. She begged for the Inner Circle to take you two back. We didn't know you would be there on Hybern." I stood, a hand resting over my stomach and sent her an even stare. "You were hurt. So was I. So, Nesta, what shall you do now? I can only wonder what the Cauldron and Mother have in store for you and Elain now."

I then turned and disappeared into shadow and resurfaced in my chambers and slowly made my way over to the bed and pulled off my robe and slid under the covers, hugging a pillow to my stomach.

"You, little one, are going to be a handful." I murmured. "I hope you stay, stay with me. I won't let anyone take you from me, you know. I promise. Just be gentle. Be easy. Maybe you'll be a Shadowsinger. With Azriel's hair or his eyes or my hair. With little Illyrian wings. Maybe you'll have powers like your grandfather- who knows? Whoever you are, just stay. Please. Don't be like the others." I whispered as a tear slid down my cheek as I hugged the pillow tighter to me.

Suddenly, shadows curled around my ankles, and a soft voice asked, "Adrianna?"

I turned to see Azriel standing in the room, a towel in his hands that he was using to dry his hair. He wore comfortable clothing. He had been in the bathroom just there. And I hadn't noticed.

I clenched my jaw and sat up slowly and wiped at my face. "A-Azriel. Sorry I didn't know you were in here."

He frowned, then came closer and kneeled in front of me and took my hands in his, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. "What others?" He whispered, and looked up at me, a deep sadness in his hazel eyes.

I bit my lip and lifted a hand to cover my mouth as I choked on a sob. "This isn't my first time being pregnant, Az. A-And I lost them all." I whispered.

He frowned and stood and scooped me into his arms and sat down on the bed again, holding me to him. He ran a hand through my hair and I stuffed my face into his shoulder.