Under her Addictiveness [Fangirl & Idol Series #2]

thirty-one

My last

Hila-hila ako ni Franzielle papunta sa isang private garden. Kailangan niya raw kasing mag-vlog! Tapos extra pa ako. At hindi lang 'yon, may special guest daw siya. Nakakahiya, ah.

"Bes, bawal akong ma-expose-"

"OMG! Andito na raw 'yung special guest natin!" Hindi niya man lang ako pinakinggan!

Napairap nalang ako nang umupo kami sa isang bench sa gitna ng parang hall sa garden. Bakit ba rito siya gagawa ng vlog? Ang hirap pala ng buhay vlogger.

"Uhm, bes, susunduin ko lang 'yung guest. Huwag ka na umalis diyan! Bye!"

"Teka-" Hindi ko naituloy ang sasabihin ko.

Tumayo ako at naglakad. Umikot lang naman ako sa hall. Sino kaya 'yung special guest? Ang pa-VIP niya naman. Naiwan pa tuloy ako rito. Hindi kasi nakasama si Zerlhian at may gagawin daw siya. Wala naman 'yong trabaho ngayon. Hindi niya naman sinabi sa akin kung anong gagawin niya.

"I've been thinking about you girl lately. It's hard to get you out of my mind. And the choice I made didn't come lightly. And I think that I'll regret this for the rest of my life."

Natulos ako sa kinatatayuan ko. Imposible namang si Zy ang kumakanta.. Naglakas-loob akong humarap sa lalaki. Parang nawalan ako ng lakas nang magtagpo ang mga mata namin..

"My wifey, please. Won't you come back to me? Oh, my wifey, please. Won't you run back to me? Oh, but wifey please, please, please. Won't you come back. For the rest, the rest of my life." Pinalitan niya pa ang baby ng wifey..

Lumapit siya saakin at ibinigay ang isang bungkos ng sunflowers. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman...

"I've been trying to reach you girl daily. But I just can't get through to your line. And I would come knocking but I don't want to see who's replaced me. And I think that I'll regret this for the rest of my life." He looked deep into my eyes and I looked away.

He held my chin and made me face him. I was constantly praying for Franzielle to come back! But she didn't! Planado ba 'to?!

"I missed you," he whispered. "Hey, don't cry," he said softly. He wiped my tears and pulled me for a hug.

"Zy, naman, e!" Inis na inis ako sakaniya. Bakit ngayon lang? Babawi nanaman siya tapos ano?

"It took me years... Years. I wanted to protect you so bad but you experienced hell instead. I'm sorry.. Justice will be served. We found Zarlhian and I played with Jennifer a bit to put her in hell."

I pushed him. I slapped him for the first time. That's for not doing anything even though he knew what was happening to me. I looked away, trying to calm myself.

"Protect me? Nagbibiro ka ba?" Bumaling ulit ako sakaniya. "If all you think about that time was to protect me, then where the hell were you?! Alam mo ba kung gaano kasakit? Nung minsan na p-pumunta ka sa bahay ng hinayupak na 'yon, umalis ka! Hindi mo man lang nagawang hanapin ako sa bawat sulok ng impyernong napasukan ko!"

"Zandra, that specific time, I was unaware of your condition sa bahay ng gagong 'yon... Ask me first, fuck! 'Wag tayong magsigawan, please..." Hirap na hirap na aniya.

"Alam mo rin bang may mga anak tayo?" Humina ang boses ko nang itanong ko 'yon.

Napapikit nalang ako sa inis at sakit nang tumango siya. Putangina... Ano bang ginawa kong mali para gawin niya 'to sa 'kin?

"A-Alam mo... Pero hindi m-mo man lang ako s-sinuportahan-"

"I was supporting you and our kids! Those goods every week in front of your place came from me. When you met Xhaiven at the mall, he used my card.. I was secretly supporting you for years! And you know what's the worst scene that I've witnessed? It was you, with my brother, on a special event of our kids in school! He w-was hugging my woman..." His voice broke, which made me cry harder.

He was there..

"K-Kung nalaman ko lang agad.. hindi kita hahayaang magtagal sa impyernong 'yon. Mahal na mahal kita. Fuck, why do you always l-leave?"

Hindi lang ako ang nasaktan at nasasaktan.. Siya rin.

"Zandra, let's stop this. I am willing to do anything for you.. Please, kahit na hindi mo agad ako patawarin-"

"Zy, ikakasal na ako. Pinirmahan mo ang annulment papers. Kaya bakit ngayon pa? Bakit, Zy?" Hindi siya nakapagsalita, sa halip ay lumuhod siya sa harapan ko. "Zy, ano ba? Tumayo ka riyan!" Pilit ko siyang pinatayo ngunit nagmatigas siya.

"Let me.. savor your unending addictiveness. You're not crazy, Zandra. People went harsh on you because of your mental state, but I'm not one of them and never will be. Saktan mo na ako, pisikal man o hindi, wala akong pakialam, basta 'wag mo lang akong iwan.."

"I love you... so darn much... Sasabihin ko na sa kanila na mahal na mahal kita. Sasabihin ko na sa kanila ikaw ang gusto ko... Please, come back to me. I'll do anything for you and our kids. I'm so sorry for leaving Zarlhian's house without looking for you in every corner of his house. I'm so sorry for not being able to save you. I'm s-sorry, wifey..."

I covered my mouth when I started crying again. I didn't want to make any sound.. I knelt down and caressed his cheek. Love teaches us to forgive and forget...

"Zy, kaya kitang patawarin pero ayokong saktan ang kapatid mong pinaramdam saakin lahat ng bagay na hindi ko naramdaman noon. Mahal kita pero hanggang dito nalang talaga... Ang pagmamahal ay hindi hinahabol, kusa iyong lalapit sa 'yo. We'll meet each other again," I said. I leaned forward and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

I'm leaving him again. Alam kong pagsisisihan ko 'to. Mahal na mahal ko si Zy...

Tumayo na ako at naglakad. Pero hindi pa ako nakakalayo ay nakita ko na si Zerlhian na nakangiti saakin. Agad akong lumapit sakaniya.

"K-Kanina ka pa-"

"Aicah, I told you, I'm just waiting for him to come back, to get what's his. Don't choose me. From the very beginning, no one's an option. Si kuya lang talaga ang laman ng puso mo. Thank you for loving me in a short period of time. I will be hurt but trust me, choosing me just because you don't want me to get hurt will hurt me even more."

I cried again. Niyakap ko si Zerlhian at gano'n din siya. Inalo niya pa ako bago nagpaalam.

"Sa next life, ako na forever mo," pagbibiro niya. "I love you, Aicah. Go on, make my brother stay under your addictiveness. Because when a person's love turns into addiction, he will surely cross the limitation. Don't make my kuya mad, iba 'yan magalit," he even laughed.

"Thank you..." 'Yun nalang ata ang masasabi ko kay Zerlhian.

"No problem, Aicah. Oh, and sorry for you know, what we did in Maldives tapos naulit pa sa place ko. Don't tell him about it, ha? Baka mamatay ako, 'di ko pa nga nahahanap ang para sa 'kin." Tumawa kami sa sinabi niya.

"You'll find yours too," I smiled. He smiled back and let me go.

I turned around and ran towards my man. My only man. He's my first and definitely my last.

"Hubby..." He stood up and his eyes shined as he took a step closer to me. "I-I'm sorry for leaving you... I won't leave-"

My tears began to fall when he hugged me.

"This time, I'll make you stay."

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