57 - Sand

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This is the second of a double update.

Denial was Kristi's new norm. She refused to think about her problems. With Dan in New Jersey, it was easier to avoid him. She focused all her energy on Hannah's party. She scoured Pinterest looking for the perfect favors and spent all day on Thursday constructing them.

She had trouble getting the image of Patrick and Tessa on the beach out of her head. They were a good-looking couple. There was an energy around them that made Kristi think they were the real deal. At first it upset her Tessa was going shopping with Patrick, but it was actually for the best. Men can't shop. Dan couldn't. Peter could, of course, but even he needed her help years ago with party decorations.

She was on edge Thursday evening. Ivy was watching TV, and the annoying mother in the sitcom irritated her. Summer vacation was a week away, and so school was as good as done for her kids. The high school kids only had exams after Friday. She loved the last day of school. Summer meant the beach, and a relaxed schedule. She was one of the few mothers who didn't cheer for the first day of school. Not only did it mean the end of summer, but Megan went back to work. The last day of school meant Megan would be around all the time. She didn't miss Erica as much in the summer.

She kept looking at her phone, willing Maddie to text her. She had sent her a text reminding her not to forget to let her know as soon as they announced the scholarship. Every time her phone buzzed, she jumped. Why had she signed up for texts at every store in a ten-mile radius? She didn't care that Target had outdoor furniture on sale.

Dan texted that he'd call after dinner. She let her mind wonder who he was having dinner with, but stopped herself. She was deflecting from her real problem when she didn't trust him. Could she live with him gone every week?

Finally, after suffering through one too many whining teens and ridiculous mothers, her phone buzzed.

Maddie: Hannah won! Everyone is crying.

Kristi hadn't even considered the emotions the scholarship would stir up. She was glad that Tessa did the right thing.

She texted congratulations to Hannah.

She also texted Patrick that she was glad his girlfriend came through.

🗨P: Good, now you can be nice to her. For me.

She didn't respond. Instead, she texted Megan the good news. She simply replied that she knew she would. Was Kristi the only one who didn't trust Tessa? No, because Hannah didn't either.

Kristi's phone kept buzzing. Hannah won three other scholarships. Kristi felt proud. She thought of Erica and wished she could have been there. She would have been glowing for her daughter. It was hard to accept Tessa when she still cried thinking about Erica. How did Patrick do it?

She grabbed the leash and called out. "I'm taking Tucker for a walk."

She took a long walk. Tucker was excited when he realized she was letting him lead her to the beach. He loved the beach, but she hated the sand all over him. Kristi needed to feel the salty breeze on her face and let her spirits be lulled by the sound of the surf.

Her phone didn't stop buzzing. Maddie texted her every time they awarded a Point kid a scholarship. Between Hannah, Rory, and Cole, she had a lot of messages. She stopped walking when she heard Dan's ringtone.

After he greeted her, she said, "Hannah won the scholarship."

"I'm glad."

"Erica would have been so proud."

Her husband knew her better than any other person on this planet, even her mother. "I know. Kris, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I have Tucker." He was sitting next to her, and she was hugging him.

"Well, I'm glad you aren't alone."

Dan loved their dog, but not the way Kristi did. He was a dog to him, but to her he was a person.

"I don't think I can do it."

"What Kris?"

"Leave here. This beach is in my veins. I am sitting on the sand and I can't imagine not being able to walk to the beach when I need to."

"You brought the dog on the beach."

Dan knew it was a big deal for her. She was a neat freak, and having a dog was hard enough without adding sand.

"Yes, I had to find the peace I only get here." That wasn't one hundred percent true. She found it in Dan's arms, but she wasn't convinced it would feel the same in New Jersey.

"Kris, I know. I just don't know what I should do. I can turn it down or I can commute. That's what we need to decide together. I don't want to move either. I have friends just like you. It will be okay. Just don't shut me out."

She didn't answer. She was crying too hard. It was tears of relief and love mixed with sorrow for Erica. Eventually, she dried her eyes. Soon school would be out and graduation would be behind them. Given enough time, she was sure that Patrick would tire of his friend and her little daughters. She and Dan would figure things out and her life would be back to normal. That was a lot of wishful thinking.

"Come on, Tuck. Let's go home."

He stood and shook the sand off himself, and they walked home to her children.

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