Kpop boyxboy Oneshots

Yungi / Ateez / Anxiety

Mingi's hands tremble a little.

He is in the supermarket, he is alone. Not really alone. A lot of people are here, cashiers and other employees are here. His band members aren't here though. Yunho isn't here.

Mingi's hands painfully cramp because of his tight grip on the handle of the shopping cart. He is here to buy avocados. Two avocados to be exact. The avocados are already neatly placed in the shopping cart.

But- But Yunho asked him if he could also buy apple-flavoured chewing gum if he can find any. Mingi has been looking for it for fifteen minutes and found it. At cash register number two to be exact. And that's the problem. The cashier is a big guy in black clothing, his mask is black. The only thing light about his clothing is the little sticker with his name on it that is pinned onto his black hoodie. Mingi isn't small. He is not weak. He is not defenseless. He is a fully grown twenty-one year old man.

The cashier scares him.

You just have to put all your stuff down, get the chewing gum and pay, then you can leave.

No, he can't do it.

Alternatives. He needs an alternative.

He could ... could get the apple-flavoured chewing gum and go to cash register number one, a really nice looking man of colour sits there. But wouldn't that offend cashier number two? And Mingi would still have to walk past him when he leaves the supermarket.

Cashier two is scarily intimidating. Mingi doesn't even know why. Many people wear black clothing. He's not scared of the black clothing. He just- He just is.

Oh, god, don't think about it.

I'm just making it worse.

Mingi knows the apple-flavoured chewing gum is not necessary. He knows he doesn't have to get it. But it's for Yunho. Yunho would like to have this gum. It feels necessary to Mingi to buy it.

Mingi can't do it. His brain forces him to also get rid of the two avocados in his shopping cart before he hectically leaves the building and hides in his car.

Useless.

That's what he is.

Useless. Good for nothing.

Can't even buy avocados or do something good for his boyfriend.

Ridiculous.

He can't tell Yunho.

It's embarassing. Maybe lying will do?

No, Mingi already knows he will feel much worse when he lies to him. He can't lie to Yunho. He can't scare Yunho away, he can't make Yunho leave.

Yunho has to stay.

Yunho has to see that Mingi is worthy of their relationship.

Yunho.

Yunho is important to Mingi. Yunho is very important to Mingi. Maybe Yunho is a little too important to Mingi. Does Yunho think Mingi is annoying? Too clingy?

I'm definitely too clingy and touchy, I should give Yunho more space. No, then I can't cope with my struggles anymore, I need the affection and attention.

Stop being selfish. It's not about you, it's about Yunho.

Yunho. Why can't Mingi just keep following Yunho? Because that's not how it works. Why can't it work like this?

It's too late. Mingi doesn't realize that he has worked himself up, his irrational thoughts pull him deeper into the black hole of his anxiety. The anxiety attack is already taking his breath in its full glory.