Kpop boyxboy Oneshots

Yungi / Ateez / Not okay

Kind of a part 2 to "Anxiety" but not really, that would just give some background info, enjoy! There are a lot of mood swings in here, sorry for that, just trying to mirror my thoughts when I don't feel well and I can go from a literal high to my lowest.

To specialsuga

'Just look at the mirror. Without any bias or prejudices. Look at what you see directly in front of you. And then tell me what you see.'

The first thing Mingi sees are the almond-shaped dark brown orbs that his eyes are. Not bad. Not good. Okay.

The second thing are the dark patches under them. Almost violet. Bad. Not good. Not okay. Ugly. Tired. That's what he sees.

The third thing is the acne. On his cheeks, his nose. He actually hadn't really had a problem with it until some fans pointed it out and now Mingi can't stop thinking about it. He especially can't stop thinking about how it might disgust Yunho. Something that should be completely normal has turned into something the haters could effectively use against Mingi. Not good. Not okay. Not smooth or well looked after.

It's 4 am. To be exact: It's 4:18 am. Not that Mingi would care. He doesn't have a sleeping schedule anymore. He just sleeps when he's tired. He spends the rest of the day or night or afternoon lying in bed, contemplating life. His life is shitty. Well, not his life.

Mingi is the asshole here. Mingi is the one not worth anything. Mingi is the one with paralyzing anxiety, dragging down his whole group. Mingi is the one slowly but surely losing control. Mingi is the one who has stopped trying to get better.

He's not even part of the dance practices or voice lessons anymore, which is the reason Mingi spends his days and nights and everything in bed. The others don't know he's not going to his therapy sessions anymore and not going on daily walks like he told them. Mingi knows he's on this hiatus to get better. He just can't do it.

That's why Mingi leaves the bathroom. That's why he tiptoes into the kitchen to get a pencil sharpener. That's why he gets himself a screwdriver.

And that's why, in the middle of the shittiest and worst and most unhappy night of Mingi's life, Mingi helps himself to the only thing that can really help him right now - a blade.

~

"Mingi?" It's just a whisper.

Maybe, if Mingi keeps ignoring it, that someone who decided to wake him up for absolutely no reason will go away and just LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

A warm hand caresses Mingi's arm and he almost flinches from the stinging sensation shooting from the cuts through his whole torso.

"Mingi, darling?"

Yunho, it's Yunho, it's Yunho. I love you, Yunho. Please don't go. Don't leave me.

"I made you breakfast, everyone else is out of the dorm and I thought you'd maybe want to eat some waffles with me?"

Just because Mingi is not at his best doesn't mean he is not completely, head over heels, and hopelessly in love with Yunho. And Yunho just made breakfast for him. To eat together. Mingi's heart almost hurts with the sweet feeling that fills it. Yunho just made Mingi's day.

With a tired groan Mingi stretches, excitedly mumbling some incoherent stuff he can't understand himself, before he gets out of bed.

"Of course," Mingi beams. This is exactly what he needs to feel good. Not some stupid old man telling him to look at the mirror without bias and prejudices.