im smiling

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eden

i smudged some of my pencil line blending in some final touches, i sat in class quietly, mostly because i had no friends and billie wasn't here to bother me

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i smudged some of my pencil line blending in some final touches, i sat in class quietly, mostly because i had no friends and billie wasn't here to bother me.

i soon as i said that i heard the sounds of chains rattling, spoke too soon i guess. she sat down beside me looking me up and down, my hair was in a messy bun today with strands of hairs out, while my ears held gold earrings in them.

i did try and look presentable today, i don't know why.

billie still stared, her tongue darting out her mouth to lick her bottom lip. "what is it" i asked, "you" was all she said turning in her seat to get a pencil.

i felt myself blush, i couldn't help it this time.
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i have 49 days left to live, and it's all i've been thinking about since i wrote it down. do i really wanna do this? do i really wanna risk failing for the 7th time? or do i take the little luck i have and succeed?

it was all too much.

i picked around in my food at lunch, billie was sitting with her usual group. we never sat next to each other at lunch, but i liked it. i liked being by myself, i just hated feeling lonely, if that made sense.

49 days 49 days 49 days 49 days 49 days.

it kept running through my head making my head spin, it seems like i have a lot of time until then but i don't. time always moves by quickly, and it'll come around sooner or later.

all i can think about is that i pulled billie too deep under the water, it was supposed to be just me, so i wouldn't hurt anyone when i left, but she won't seem to budge. it's like she's molded to me.
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billie pov
i drowned out my friend's voices watching eden pick at her food, she seemed to be stressing about something. due to the fact that her hands have now moved to pinch and scratch at her skin.

"billie" drew waved a hand in my face and i jumped "yeah wassup?"

"are you good," she asked, "she's making goo-goo eyes at that weirdo over there, aren't you eilish," one of zoe's friend said making me turn my head. "don't call me that, one, two i am not" i put my head in my hands.

"didn't she like- try and kill herself or something," zoe said making me lift my head, "what?"

"yeah, she was like in a mental hospital or something all year" zoe continued, "don't be rude" drew interfered. "how is that rude" zoe rolled her eyes and i sighed. i could feel another argument coming.

i stood up grabbing my phone "i'm gonna go."
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eden pov
i was crying again, i found myself to be crying a lot lately. i pulled out my phone.

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