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i didn't wanna get up this morning, i was so sad today and i didn't know why. i haven't seen billie since yesterday, when i told her to get out so i could change she just..left.
and i shouldn't be upset because she has her own life, it doesn't revolve around me, but it's the fact that i still hadn't seen her in school today, and it's lunch.
maybe she just wasn't feeling well.
or maybe she just finally had enough of my constant complaining. who wouldn't?
it's selfish of me to make this about myself, she could be sick for all i know. i miss her already even though i saw her yesterday. i wonder what she was doing right now. - billie pov i sobbed into my pillow, trying to silence the loud crying, but it wasn't working. i don't know why exactly i was crying but something in me hurt so bad.
i couldn't even get up for school because it hurt too bad.
i'd been crying all day, and when i say all day i mean all damn day. it's tiring; crying this much. i hadn't even gotten out of bed, i could physically feel the puffiness of my face and i could barely see out my eyes.
i just want a hug. - eden pov walking out the double doors a girl came up to me brushing my shoulder, "eden, right?"
i nodded my head and she smiled, "drew."
i see her hang out with billie a lot at school but nothing more, she's pretty as well. "i'm billies friend, i just wanted to come say hi" she said and i nodded my head, "you don't talk much do you?"
i shrugged and she laughed "i'll see you around."
i watched her skip off to other friends, she was way too sweet to be hanging out with them. the same people who shoved me into a locker were rude and sometimes they stunk so it's weird seeing her hang out with them.
walking into billies neighborhood i clutched my book bag so it wouldn't fall. i didn't know if i made billie upset or if she just has something going on, but i wanted to see her.
i skipped up her step knocking on the door, no long after a woman came to the door. she had brown hair, blue eyes, she kinda looked like billie but not really.
"hi" she smiled brightly, "um is billie here," i said quietly and she moved to the side, "come in."
i walked into the familiar house and she looked to be walking to the kitchen "she's in her room."
i thanked her and made my way to billies room, i knocked quietly but no answer, "eilish" i whispered, and still no answer. i decided to just walk in, she looked to be sleeping. i closed the door behind me and set my book bag on the ground.
her room was the same red color as always, and her window was open only slightly.
i sat down on her bed being sure not to be too loud. even though the room was a red color i could tell she'd been crying, her face was puffy and her lips were swollen.
i brought my thumb up to her face stroking it lightly, it hurts seeing her like this. she looked so sad and it was kinda weird to see her in this state.
i wished she'd look out for herself as much as she looked out for others.
i brought my hand up to her hair, scratching lightly to see if i could wake her up. she didn't seem to budge so i slowly got under the cover with her bringing her head into my chest.
stroking her hair i looked down at her, i don't know how to comfort or what to do when someone is sad but i'm trying because billie does so much for me.
"eilish," i said after a while, she only hummed i think she was still asleep though. "are you okay" i whispered coming down face to face to her, she didn't answer and i chuckled.
bringing my thumb back to her face i brushed over her lip to wake her up. "eilish" i said, groaning she flipped over facing the wall. "who is it" she said and i laughed "it's eden."
turning over billie moved the hair out of her face, "come" was all she said. "no you come"i brought my arms out for her and she put her head in my neck. i didn't waste any time wrapping my arms around her, "how are you" i spoke.
"fine, how are you though?"
i sighed "how are you eilish, really."
she sighed as well and immediately broke down, i wrapped my arms around her tighter pulling billie into my embrace. "talk to me, love."
"i don't know" she sobbed into my neck and i shushed her "it's okay, just—let it out."
it'd been a while and billie hadn't stopped crying she was crying extremely hard. i don't know what was wrong or what is making her sob like this but all i can do is hold her. - "you're okay" i wiped billies tear off her red swollen face.
she'd stop crying now it was just casual hiccups or deep breaths. she still hadn't told me what's wrong, i think she doesn't know exactly what's bothering her and that's what's making her upset. - billie pov my head rested in edens chest while her hand played in my hair. i'm glad she was here, i'm glad she was worried about me, i'm glad she was able to comfort me.
i pulled on her waist pulling her more into me i don't know why but every time we cuddle i want her as close as possible, and even when there's no space left between us i still pull her closer.
"eilish, i'm right here" she laughed, "i'm not going anywhere, no need to grip me."
i chuckled and hiccuped "i know."
she only laughed and it looked like she shook her head, i couldn't tell from the dark.
i liked hearing eden laugh, i mean from how we started i'd think it'd take a miracle to make her smile, now it's just a normal thing when she's around me.
"eilish," she said and i hummed "your friend talked to me."
"who?"
"drew" she dragged out, "i think."
i chuckled and shook my head "of course she did." it was silent and all i could hear was her soft breathing and the beating of her heart.
"eden," i said and she hummed "can i tell you something?"
"you can tell me anything, eilish."
i sighed and closed my eyes, i don't know if i wanted to tell her or not but it really didn't feel like a simple crush anymore. it felt like i was in the clouds when with eden, it felt like i was dancing in a field of flowers, it just felt like something more difficult than a crush.
"never mind" i sighed, she whispered and brought her hand to my cheek "tell me when you're ready."
i hummed and relaxed into her.
i didn't wanna admit it but i think i'm in love with her.
