ꜰɪꜰᴛʏ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ

simply not enough

not the double update

i rubbed my eyes as i walked, the wind making my hair tickle my face. looking at my phone for the millionth time today, and grunted as i saw no text back.

i texted eden goodnight last night and didn't get a response, i texted her good morning and didn't get a response.

maybe she and claudia were still hanging out, seeing as she wasn't in school today but i just had decided to go and see her.

as i walked through my neighborhood, and down to hers i eventually made it to her window.

it was opened just a crack, just enough for me to pull it open.

"eden" i called out seeing as her bathroom door was closed but the light still gleamed through the crack, making a line on her surprisingly super neat room.

pulling out my phone i texted her but her phone just dinged on her bed.

i walked out of her room, finding the guest room claudia apparently had been staying with them now so i went looking for her.

knocking on the door, she yells come in.

i peek my head in the room "billie" she questioned, "why are you here?"

disregarding her question i ask "where's eden?"

she furrowed her eyebrows "um she should be in her room, i haven't seen her since yesterday."

"um she said she was hanging out with you," i said as i leaned against the door frame.

claudia shrug "well i haven't seen her so."

furrowing my eyebrows i ran a hand through my hair "so? help me look for her the fuck."

with a sigh and a grunt, claudia had walked to edens room, making sure to stomp her way there.

"eden" she called out and i sighed "i already tried that."

"did you text her," she asked. the way claudia was asking an obvious question was making me so annoyed.

" 'did you text her' " i mocked "of course i fucking texted her."

"damn call down" she chuckled "she probably just went out somewhere." i rose my eyebrows, it was like she didn't even care that she hadn't seen her sister since yesterday.

i knocked on the bathroom door, then twisted the handle but it was locked. "locked from the inside" i had said as claudia furrowed her eyebrows.

she says "one second" and walks out of the room. i pace the floor, eden always goes missing for a couple of days and then just pops back up but this is messing with me more than usual.

i hate when she does that, it makes me so nervous.

"i'm back" she moves me out the way unlocking the bathroom door with a key. my question was how and why did she have a key to edens bathroom, but that's beside the point.

she opened the door but quickly closed the door back, "what?! what is it" i said quickly. she quickly fished her phone out of her pockets, her hands shaking violently. her breath was shaking as she put the phone to her ear and walked out the room, but not before telling me to not open the bathroom door.

so i listened and sat down on edens bed, and trust me when i say my nerves were on 100.

my leg bounced of the ground repeatedly as claudia was taking forever.

can she hurry up?
-
claudia pov
i called the ambulance and finneas, both of them saying they'd be on their way, it felt like my stomach had turned inside out and my head was pounding. i tried not to cry, it would be stupid and selfish to cry because my sister wasn't someone special in my life, and i didn't care about her.

but i couldn't help the tears beginning to flow down my hot cheeks, every memory, every argument, every harsh word, every 'i love you, and every hug and kiss came rushing in as i paced the hallway floor.

why didn't i just listen to her, why didn't i just be a fucking good person and help her? instead, i have an ambulance coming to fish my sister out of a bloody bathroom tub.

she wasn't dead, not that i knew of.

my hands shook as i put them on the back of my head, i'm not the one to pray when something bad happens but in this moment i just needed a miracle.

so that's what i did, i prayed and prayed until my thoughts were cut by the most blood-curdling scream i had ever heard in my entire life.

-
billie pov
i grabbed eden out of the bathtub, screaming and crying as i held my once love in my arms.

her wrist was slit so deep that it hurt to even look at them, and her eyes were still open but they didn't have that glimmer in them that i loved.

she was cold, just like the tiles beneath my body. as i wrapped her more into my arms, tears streamed down my cheeks she didn't hug back like she always did and the warmth i once felt when i held her was gone because she was far too cold to even try to imagine it.

i noticed moles placed delicately behind her ear and on the back of her neck. i noticed a birthmark right above her collar bone. i noticed a tiny scar on her eyebrow. a faint freckle on her cheek. is it bad?  bad i notice these features now as she lay weak and freezing in my arms.

as my cheeks are stained from tears and my shirt soaking with bloody water. as the lips i once loved are already starting to turn a different color.

and is it bad that i was still madly in love with her?

"i love you," i whimpered "so so much", my voice choked and hoarse. i wanted her to say it back, i wanted to hear her pretty accent, her pretty voice.

"i love you eden" i sobbed.

"billie come on" claudia tried grabbing me off of her but i refused.

"the ambulance is here you gotta get up" she continued as finneas rushed into the room as well.

"come on billie," they said prying me off of her and letting her limp body drop to the floor.

"stop" i had screamed as they tried dragging me out of the room, i can't just leave her there, i can't just let her lay there.

she looked so dull. it was as if somebody reached inside her chest and took out everything i loved.

the paramedics came in lifting her and carrying eden downstairs, i fled from my brother's arms running downstairs with the paramedics, and of course, claudia and finneas were quick to follow me.

i watch as they put eden on a wheeled stretcher and put a white sheet over her.

"don't put that on her" i yelled as i tried to follow them outside, finneas holding me back.

the paramedics were acting as if she died putting that on her, it's like they're just inviting it in; death. which is something i was scared of, i didn't want eden to die, though i think she might already be dead.

it's not good to think about, but i saw her body, i held it, that's not what a living person feels like.

"take it off" i screamed and cried as finneas wrapped me in a hug. i didn't want a fucking hug from anyone but eden. 

i just wanted the girl i was in love with to hug me, not anyone else.

i wanted eden and her cute little laugh, i wanted her kisses, i wanted her smile, and i can't even forget her corny-ass jokes.

i just wanted eden.

i loved her with every bone in my body, but it was evident that my love was simply not enough.

1314 words