ꜰɪꜰᴛʏ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ

whyd it get so dark

i know i put a trigger warning at the beginning of this book but im putting it again. like seriously don't read this if you're triggered easily.

btw i apologize in advance🙏🏽

eden

i sat in lunch picking at my hair while my headphones dangled from my ears.

the day was almost over, just two more periods. i looked up to see billie staring directly at me.

she smiled, sticking her tongue out at me, i laughed and shook my head. drew turned her head around waving at me, i waved back.

i guess i'll kinda miss her, i've only ever spoken 2
words to her but she was sweet.

i was more fidgety than usual today, maybe cause i knew what i was gonna do when i got home. i wasn't scared, and i wasn't anxious i was just ready to go.

i'd been waiting for forever, it felt like, so to finally be able to do it is kinda refreshing and weird at the same time. 

after school, i know billie would ask to stay over or ask me to stay the night, but i've already made an excuse.

id just say "me and claudia are gonna hang out today."
pretty wrong to use my sister as a getaway, but it's the only scenario she'd leave me alone in.

as lunch ended and kids walked out of the cafeteria, drew, and billie walked up to me. billie had grabbed my hand, while drew stood on the side of me.

"hey, we were thinking about hanging out after school, you should come" drew had said as we walked the lengthy school halls.

"um, i was hanging out with my sister today sorry," i said, "maybe next time?"

billie furrowed her eyebrows with a laugh "really?"

i only nodded my head, i hated lying to her, it's like i just get this feeling in my stomach every time i lie.
-
my leg bounced as i watched the clock waiting for the bell to ring, my lip quivered only slightly and my hands shook softly against my lap.

the aching feeling in my stomach grew until it felt like i was practically sweating my skin off. the clock ticking and the sound of student's feet tapping the floor filled the silent room.

"come on come on," i say to myself.

billie had put her hands on my leg, looking at me with a furrow of her eyebrows.

"are you good," she asked and i shook my head "fine" was all i said.

the bell rung cutting off whatever she was gonna say, i hopped up grabbing my things and hurrying out the door.