ꜰɪꜰᴛʏ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ

always in my dreams

i had another dream about eden last night.

i could actually hear edens laugh, i felt her skin against mine as we cuddle and kissed. i saw her smile that was just as bright as the moon she loved.

oh and i could even hear her tell me she loved me.

it was like she was here again. multiple times these dreams have happened in just the two weeks she's been gone.

sometimes i wake up from them with a smile on my face and sometimes i cry, this time i did both.

and just because eden isn't here doesn't mean i can't still fantasize about what could have been.

it sounds stupid, but i wanted to marry her, live with her. adopt puppies, have a kid, or something i don't know. i'm young, she was young, but it didn't hurt to just think for a moment.

i dreamt earlier this week, she had just gotten home from work, she had become a writer. i was in the living room writing music with a puppy on my lap and a child on the floor drawing.

"eilish" i heard eden call, "on the couch love" i responded. i soon saw her figure, notebook in hand as always. "hi baby" she said as she picked up june.

"and hello to you too" she spoke as she kissed our daughter's cheek. june giggling as she did, "i'm gonna start dinner okay," eden said.

she looked exhausted, i didn't want her to move another muscle "it's okay, sit down you look tired."

she only smiled as she slumped down on the couch, petting the soft pit bull next to her.

i kissed her forehead, "relax."

"i am" eden chuckled, "i love you," she said with a soft sigh as her eyes closed.

"i love you more" i responded.

sometimes i don't really know if i like these dreams because it reminds me too much of how much i love her. it reminds me too much of what could've been.

but honestly, it's the only way i'll probably ever be able to experience those incredible moments with her. so i don't mind them.

i'll see her in my dreams i guess.

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