groaning i wrapped the blankets over my head, i don't know why the room was so bright but i hated it.
"oh you're up" billie spoke, i peeked my head out and she was in the full-body mirror putting on jewelry.
"not really," i said groggily making her laugh.
"get up," billie said, "it's snowing."
i jumped up, tripping on the way to the window. billie laughed as i peered out the window.
it had piled up and it looked so pretty.
i relaxed, leaning on the frame.
billie had joined me, pressing her front up against my back.
"you've never seen snow," she asked. i smiled as she leaned her head on my shoulder.
"not over an inch, no."
she shook her head with a warm smile "let's go outside then."
i smiled and laughed "don't we leave today?"
"so" she grinned and i chuckled "fine." - eden
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"you're not cold love," billie asked on the side of me, "nope" i responded.
we walked through central park, holding hands as usual.
"i've been making music," billie said out of nowhere, i turned my head "really?"
"yeah, an ep" she smiled, "that's great" i responded.
"mhm, i can't wait for you to hear!"
"um yeah," i said quietly.
i stopped, dropping billies hand. i drew a heart in the snow with the letters 'b+e' in it.
i smiled at it, taking a picture. "you're weird" i heard billie say, i balled up snow in my hand "don't you dare" she said.
"mmm, why not" i smirked, "eden i'm not kidding!"
i threw it at her, hitting right in the middle of her stomach.
she picked one up as well throwing it at my leg, which i knew was gonna be red later.
grabbing more snow into my hands i made it as big as possible.
"don't even think about it," billies said, i ignored her throwing it right at her shoulder.
"ow" she yelped and i laughed brushing myself off. - it was starting to get dark, and we were gonna have to leave soon.
me and bil had been in central park all day, laughing, throwing snowballs, everything that was fun basically.
i don't know what she was talking about but she seemed to be excited about it.
without thinking i just wrapped her in a hug, putting my head in her neck.
"are you okay" i heard her muffled voice, all i did was hum.
putting her hand in my hair billie whispered something but i couldn't quite put my finger on it.
"huh," i asked.
she shook her head "nothing, let's get back."
i lifted my head, looking at her in the eyes "tell me."
"it's nothing, come on" she grabbed my hand as we walked back to the hotel. - i looked over to billie, her head laid on my shoulder while light snores escaped her lips
i had the window seat as we flew in the air, the whole plane was quiet, to my surprise.
i was just overthinking as always.
i don't wanna depress you so let's just say i was thinking about life.
life as in a shitty-ass experience.
truthfully speaking i didn't ask to be here and though billie has made it a pinch better, i still feel like shit.
i complain so much about this and that, that i don't even know what is good anymore.
i don't know, it's stupid to think about all the faults of life and not the good, but there is no good in my life.
besides billie.
i hate waking up, i hate life.
truthfully speaking i can't wait for life to end, i cant wait to go, as selfish as it sounds.
you know often i wonder how it even came to this, how did i even get like this?
you'd think some traumatic thing happened to me where people did horrible things.
but i've come to realize that it's me, it's always been me.
