ꜰɪꜰᴛʏ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ

her face would be enough

pushing my now way too long hair out of my face i took a bite of a cookie.

vegan cookies to be exact.

i'd been binge eating all day and i know that's not good, but what else was i to do?

i cant text billie, we're on a "break."

we shouldn't even call it that, we're not even dating. it was dark in my room, i had closed all my blinds and turned off all my lights just to be in a mood.

i was sad today, more than usual.

sad because my birthday was coming up, very soon.

very soon meaning tomorrow.

it was always lonely and it was always full of crying. i usually self-harmed on my birthday and it was nothing i could do about it.

that's why i didn't like it, i don't trust myself enough to not self-harm.

i never thought 17 would be my last age i thought it'd be 14 as depressing as it sounds.

all i'm hoping is that billie forgot.

i know she'd go all out, taking me out, making a cake, i would die.

i can't handle spending a whole day for myself.

sounds exhausting if i'm being completely honest with you, and i don't hate my birthday because i'm ungrateful.

i hate it because i'm being reminded how many years i've spent on the cruel full earth. don't get me wrong i love animals, nature, space, all of that comes with our earth.

but the people, oh they can all go to hell.

not to be rude or anything but i'm hoping billie won't come over on monday because that means "happy birthday eden!"

which would drive me crazy.

jordan could be tolerable, seeing he'd only stay for 20min or so.

i got up, putting my hair in a ponytail with a sigh.

making my way downstairs to throw away trash and clean up a knock on the door made me flinch.

i look through the peephole and a man was there.

i opened it and he smiled.

"flowers for eden hayes" he smiled and i furrowed my eyebrows.

"thank you?"

he nodded and handed them to me, closing my door i went to my kitchen.

once i had made it there i folded open the note attached.

to my moon,
happy early birthday, i miss you and i'm sorry.
we should talk, love.
- eilish

i couldn't help but smile.

even though i was mad at her she was undeniably adorable.
i mean come on, who wouldn't blush at "my moon?"

chuckling to myself i put them in a vase with water, i don't know how she figured out i liked lillies but here we are.

she said we should "talk" i know her ass is gonna crawl into my window any time today.

that's what she always does even though i repeatedly tell her to just come through the door.

sighing i made my way upstairs, i guess i just have to wait.
-
i laid in my bed, slowly dosing off to sleep.

when i heard my phone ding for the millionth time this weekend.

i'm not gonna answer because i know if i do i'll suck up to her all over again.

i'd probably just talk to her again at school, i think a weekend break is enough.

billie never came to the window, she's not as predictable as i thought.

billies never really been the predictable type, even throughout middle school. so i didn't know why i even tried to guess what she was gonna do.

billie was, hmm a laid-back person yet so so loud.

you could hear her laugh if you were upstairs and she was downstairs, but that's what i liked.

that she wasn't afraid to show her, though i envy her radiance of confidence i still liked it.
-
billies pov
i blew out a breath while pushing the hair out my face, being away from someone you're attached to hurts so bad.

i'd been forced out of the house multiple times this weekend and it's making me mentally and physically tired.

but that didn't stop me from making this stupid ass birthday card.

i mean it wasn't stupid i was just calling it that because i was tired.

it's nothing special, just a couple of words on eden and how special she actually is.

it wasn't like i was confessing my love or anything.

just a simple card.

signing it i put the card in my bookbag so i wouldn't forget it, and got into bed.

i cant wait to see her tomorrow, even if we don't talk, seeing her face would be enough.

32 days

776 words.