ꜰɪꜰᴛʏ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ

feel her

it's been 3 months since 'don't smile at me' my ep, came out, 6 since eden passed.

i was definitely not completely over it, but it's better than the first couple of weeks.

i was leaving tomorrow for my first tour, it's all pretty surreal and just a little overwhelming. it was all happening so fast i couldn't even blink, one moment was just talking about what lyrics to come up with, and then all of a sudden a label wants to sign me and get me on tour as fast as possible.

i don't know if i liked it or not yet, the "fans" even though they're not fans are awesome though.

i wished eden was here to see it, i know she'd be proud of me.

and it's kinda weird that this is like my life now? i have people who watch what i do now, which is kinda scary.

and i'm leaving my home to go around the world to perform for people who like me.

but it's all worth it i guess. to be honest, i'm scared and without eden, i have no reassurance that it'll be okay.

i mean other people could tell me it but of course i wouldn't believe it. it has to come from edens mouth and i know that that will never happen.

sometimes i feel like i can feel her with me, as cliche as it sounds but i liked to think that she's always by my side helping me out with the little things.

i don't know, it's kinda dumb to other people but not to me. as long as i can "feel her" i know i'll be okay.

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