Roman
It was hard seeing dean in this state he had finally managed to fall asleep he was so emotionally and physically exhausted I looked over at seth and he was crying I got up and hugged him
"It's gonna be ok" I said "how roman he tried to kill himself and it's my fault" he cries in to my chest "don't blame yourself seth none of us could of known he was gonna do that" I said "it's so hard seeing him in this state roman" he said "it's know but we gotta be strong for him and help get him though this" I said he nodded and pulled away and wiped his tears
"Go rest man you need it I'll keep an eye on him" he said "ok but you get tired wake me up" I said "I will" he said I gave him another little hug then went to lie down
Seth pov
After roman went to lie down I sat down and messed about with deans hair I really missed him for the last month and im happy his back and forgiven me and I will never ever break his trust like that again no way I'm never gonna let him go
5 hours later
Me and roman were sitting down with the tv on when dean started to wake up he rubbed his eyes then sat up and looked down at the floor and sighed
"You alright dude" roman asked dean looked up at us but didn't say a word then looked back down moved his arm and rubbed his face and stood up
"Where you going" I asked "bathroom" he mumbled "ok dont lock the door then" I said "fine" he mumbled walking in to the bathroom about 15 minutes later he came back out and just collapsed on to the sofa and grabbed the cover from before pulling it over him and moved up abit to put his head on the pillow then closed his eyes we let him rest roman went a took some pain killers as he was still in pain then came back and sat down
"You alright man" I asked "im ok" he said we sat in silence and looked at dean who was very restless a little while later he woke up again but stayed silent and lieing down
"You ok dean" I asked "no" he mumbled "talk to us dude get it put there and off your chest" roman said he looked over us "I don't wanna talk about it" he mumbled "it's better to get it out dude rather then keep it all in" roman said "i am not talking about it" he mumbled turning to his over side so his back was facing away from us
"Dude can I asked you one question and answer truthfully" roman said
"what" dean mumbled "are you thinking about doing something stupid again" he asked with clear worried on his face "maybe" we just about heard dean mumbled back I looked back at roman worried and scared roman looked just the same
"Please don't think of doing something stupid dean we can help" roman said "you can't help me roman" he said "what about sami do you want me to ring him?" Roman asked dean turned around facing us with a serious look on his face "no he can not no about this if he fines out he would probably kill me himself for not telling him I was struggling again" he said "what do you mean struggling again?.....how l9ve have you been thinking like this?" I asked "a while" he said "before what happened between us?" I asked "yes" he mumbled "Why didn't you tell us" I asked "cause I didn't want people to worry about me and I didnt want someone with me 24/7 cause they think I would do something I had enough of that when I was having the fits" he mumbled " you should of talked to us dude we could of helped you" roman said "I don't want help" he mumbled "your clearly struggling dealing with it on your own" I said "guys stop.......Please! I don't wanna talk about any of it I don't wanna deal with this shit anymore im tired of it!" He mumbled tears now falling down his cheek again I went over to him and sat him up pulling in to a big hug
"We're sorry dean we just don't like you dealing with this on your own when your clearly finding it hard and we wanna be able to help you and be there for you" I said and that "I.......can't" he mumbled in to my chest holding me very tightly
