Dean pov
Seth was holding me tightly as my tears fall silently I hated this I hated everything right now
I pulled away from seth and got up I walked to the bathroom and shut the door I leaned on the sink looking at my reflection in the mirror the man I see looking back at me at all im a mess I don't know who I am anymore I punch the wall next to the mirror as hard as I could It hurt like hell I think I broke my wrist roman and seth then came in and looked at me seth and pulled me to a hug I tried to fight out of it but his grip was really tight I grabbed on to his jumper and pushed him up against the wall roman came over and grabbed me to stop me from doing it again
"Get off me!!" I shout "dude calm down please" roman begged I pulled out of his grip roughly and stumbled backwards in to the wall and then just slid down it on to the floor and started shaking what the hell is going on with me
Roman knelt down in front of me putting his hand on my shoulder
"Calm down dude please" he said I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my head down closing my eyes calming myself down after about 10 minutes I calmed down and stopped shaking roman grabbed my hand pulling me up to my feet and looked in to my eyes before pulling me in to a hug then pulled me back to the main room sitting me down on the sofa I laid down pulling the covers over me head and just tried to stay calm maybe I will have to ring sami I know he could help he has lots of times before he know how to handle me when im like this and I don't want to hurt seth or roman I pulled the cover of my head and grabbed my phone and called sami seth and roman were looking at me worried
Phone call
"Hello?" He said
"S-sami" I said
"Dude whats wrong?" He asked worry in his voice
"I.........?" I couldn't finish
"Dean man talk to me your scaring me I haven't heard you like this in a long time" he said
"I...I need you man" I said
"Ok where are you" he asked
"That's the problem im in L.A" I said
"ill get a flight over man what hotel you in" he asked
"Mayfair" I said
"Im gonna book the first flight over ok?....now talk to me what happened" he said
"I....um...I got in a bad place again" I said
"Ok man you did the right thing calling me" he said
"Sami...there's something I need to tell you" I said
"Ok?" He said worry back in his voice
"I...I've been like this for a while and um......I've tried...........I've tried to kill myself" I said tears now in my eyes the phone went silent for a moment
"What?" He asked shocked and upset "I'm sorry" I said
"Why didn't you call me straight away when you started thinking like that again" he asked
"I dont no I didn't want to feel like I'm depending on you to be there all the time" I said
"Im always here dean" he said
" I know that now and I'm sorry" I said
"im gonna go book my flight I ring you later and see you soon ok" he said
"Ok" I said he hung up and I put my phone down seth and roman were looking at me worried but a hint of happiness that I've called sami
I laid back down facing away from them and closed my eyes
