Blaze Of Glory | Kylo Ren

Didn't Mean to Make You Cry

Ani's P.O.V.

How could they have not told me about that move? That one move I just apparently can't get out of. How could neither of them tell me? Did they both always know?

Laying in the bed at late hours of the night, my mind keeps me up, replaying the move I lost to today. I keep repeating the memory in my mind, recalling each time that move has bested me without realizing. I feel dumb at how many times it's happened throughout the years. 

Laying in Kylo's bed, my cuffed hands rest under the pillow my head lies on. I'm under the covers of the bed, still in the nightgown from this morning. Kylo hasn't returned since cuffing me to his bed, and he hasn't moved to the saber and Helmet mocking me on his desk. 

All I've been doing is replaying the move in my mind, trying to find a way out of it, only to come empty of ideas. The workers have fixed his door and left without a word to me, locking me in. Every glance at the light saber makes me want to cry, but I've been good at holding them back all night.

The door slides open and my eyes move to the doorway to find Kylo coming in. His back seems tense as he takes off his helmet. His expression seems exhausted and sleep deprived. 

I do not know what he's been up to, but I'm assuming he's been cleaning up my mess. Tossing his helmet on the desk, it knocks into my father's helmet. He takes one glance at me and our eyes meet one another before he storms into the bathroom. 

He slams the door behind him and my eyes look back at the wall across from me. I hear the shower start and my eyes take one more glance at the helmets and saber resting lazily on the desk. I feel my eyes water and I sniffle, trying to keep it together.

I knew I would not win. He's trained longer than I have now and has new strength. I've never trained by the darkside but I didn't know I'd lose to a move we've done for over years now. 

After what feels like forever, the shower stops and I hear him shuffling around the bathroom. I close my eyes as the door opens and listen to him head to the cupboard. I sense he's changing into something before sighing tiredly to himself. 

The bed underneath me dips, and I suspect he's getting in to lie beside me. He turns off the light in the room and the sheet slides a little against my body. I move my hands underneath the pillow and hear the metal glide on itself. 

As if the sound of metal chains is my wakening, my tears finally slip past my eyelids. Silent tears roll down my cheeks. This is what my training has gotten me. 

Cuffed to a bed of a friend I no longer know. My training has failed me, it somehow always had. 

I sniffle again as quietly as I could and I hear Kylo move on the bed behind me. Fingers glide up my back under the sheet and don't jump away. I do absolutely nothing from the feeling of Kylo's finger skimming my back. As if my non-reaction to his touch is unsettling, Kylo mumbles in the darkness. 

"I didn't mean for you to find out..."

Letting a sob escape my lips, I push my head further into the pillow to hide my sound. Him admitting that is my undoing; I feel defeated in every way. I feel defeated in my training, in who I am, in who my family used to be and what I've become in the past two years. 

Nothing about me and nothing I've learned in my life can get me out of the life I'm in now. I have nothing left to hold on to for hope. Nothing comforts me anymore. 

I try hard not to make a sound, but even the pillow my face is in can't help muffle my crying. Feeling an arm wrap around my waist, my weeps pause and I sense my back on Kylo's chest. His head rests on the top of my back and his other hand goes beneath my waist, resting on the bed.